addiction
The realities of addition; the truth about living under, above and beyond the influence of drugs and alcohol.
My Amazon Addiction
Since this pandemic started I've been in a very bad headspace mentally. I was laid off, I had to move back in with my parents, I had 2 children to take care of, another one on the way, and as of late I have been diagnosed with Post Partum Depression. So what have I done to try to combat the ever-growing sadness, anger, and pain within myself? That's correct. SHOPPING. Now I haven't been going store to store shopping in store or online just buying anything that catches my eye. Just the one stop shop for my any and everyday wants and needs. AMAZON!!!!!!!! Now yes at this moment and since 2 months ago I have definitely calmed down and have gained some self control, but I wanted to share with you all how it gotten so out of control it became an issue. At first I was buying new baby clothes, a new rocker, a new crib, and other such baby materials. Then the guilt came, my older children weren't going the get the same attention they're used to, they'll feel like I don't love them anymore, they may believe they aren't special anymore, and because of that I decided to buy them both special gifts. My oldest I bought a kids digital camera and a big play salon set and my then youngest a Barbie Fashionista doll, and a Disney Princess grown up phone, credit cards, and car key toy set and then to share I bought them a Disney Princess pretend curio coffee,(or as I tell them Hot Chocolate), machine. Their little faces lit up when they saw what was in those boxes. I felt so happy to give them something they really enjoyed. Then I had this feeling I needed to buy something for my parents for letting me stay with them, just to show how much I appreciated the sacrifice they made for their freedom. So I went back to my favorite place and got them both, beautiful, different colored, coffee or tea cups. They are made from Glass, sculpted 3D designs on them both, and they just look so amazing in person. I honestly couldn't help myself, I knew how much they enjoyed their tea and/or coffee time and by their first impressions of them, they were. Then I got myself a new pair of really nice fuzzy socks. But that's how it all began.
By Rayana S. Walker5 years ago in Psyche
Drug Psychosis
I had been smoking meth for a year, I found it hard to maintain my habit now that I finally kicked out my drug dealer boyfriend. One of my new supply resources suggested I injected it, showed me how & gave me my first shot. The rush of the meth hitting my heart was euphoric, the feeling of being energised, happy & satisfied was enough to keep me addicted to the powerful mind drug meth for over 3 years now. I rarely get the rush or energised feeling anymore, but it stabilises my mood & completes me, I need to feed my addiction or it attacks me through my mind & physically disables me. I have been trying to quit for over a year now, meth has the power over me to arrive when least expected. The powerful mind drug has opened my minds energy to manifest meth in my life, it has grabbed onto me & makes it intolerable to go without. I am weak in my battle against meth & find it hard to find the way away from it. I experienced an evolving psychosis which developed into skitzophrenia. I have been lucky enough to travel this magical brain created imagination, hallucination & delusional journey. A fortnightly injection of an antipsychotic medication inhibits my psychosis characteristics, leaving me with a clear & logical mind. Its hard for me to believe that what I lived through is not actually real. I believe in telepathy, spiritual guides, aliens, various gods, naturally occuring signs, mind readers, spirits, angels & devils, possession, gaslighting, self awareness, the third eye, government trials, science discovery, channeling, souls & conscious levels most of these beliefs could actually have some involvement in the occurences endured. The beginning is hard to determine, but one of the first instances involved a huge shadowed object in the sky, which I waved to & expressed I wasnt ready yet. Another was a couple of ladies voices communicating they could help me after I begged for help to overcome my addiction, a foreign group arrived through my media & electrical appliances concerning financial issues, a white light increasingly got closer to me & when entered me another couple entered my voice library, buzzing, machinery, animal communication, instruments & weather sounds increased. Observations of drones, cloud shapes, shadow people & symbols, entities, energies, animals, projections & body language of family & friends, increasingly kept my mind yearning for more stimulation. Sensations of feeling accompanied, observed, touched, squeezed, heated, cooled, lifted, entered & altered were incredibley comforting & enthralling. With all three senses open to fully invite stimuli, I experience amazingly wonderful powerful happenings which become draining on my functioning self. I asked the universe to take control of my life & I was given the gift of a dimensional kaelidiscope & my creativity & imagination opened up. I have had countless memorable moments which astound me, if only I could live in both worlds simultaneously without the control of the voices. I would feel myself lucky. grateful & happy. My mind has been opened to another realm & find it unsatisfying to not experience the phennonenom.
By Tamika Muir5 years ago in Psyche
I Remember
“Hello my love” was how I greeted her every single time. Every single malt scotch placed before me. The fellow drinkers at my sides, whether they were my fellows or not, I could feel their glances, their gazes and stares as I said the words. As if I was crazy. I didn’t have many fellows left in my life, so perhaps I was crazy. Crazy for the drink I was. She was crazy for me, too.
By Jordan Gabriel Clark5 years ago in Psyche
Symptoms of Clonazepam Withdrawal
Symptoms of Clonazepam withdrawal can be a big problem when a person is trying to quit using this drug. While there are many people who have found success in quitting and not having to deal with any of the effects of withdrawal, there are others that have tried to quit and ended up feeling more sick than ever before.
By Justin Griffith5 years ago in Psyche
Why do the best of people let drugs take over their lives?
06/19/2020 Why have the best of people let drugs taken over their life? This topic is something that means a lot to me and it’s something I want people who don’t know that much about it, gain some knowledge or even just have some empathy for the ones struggling around them. Drugs are the DEVIL 100% and I had to learn this the hard way without having someone teach me. The ones I love the most are going through this battle or they have let it completely taken over their life which has resulted in death. 2 of the most beloved people to me have died because of this issue that the whole world is dealing with.
By cheyenne n linthacum5 years ago in Psyche
11/25/16 Black Friday
November 25, 2016-Black Friday Douglas K R David I’ll never forget the couple of weeks leading up to my incarceration in the New Jersey Department of Corrections. Much and more occurred in those few weeks leading up to my demise. There were many precipitating factors that led to my fall but the day when all was truly lost was a cold fall night in November. Jason and I were in the dark bedroom when we learned that Hillary lost and that our 45th President would be Donald Trump, a reality TV star, and up jumped politician who hijacked the Republican party. I wept and Jason held me, something broke inside of me that night. No longer could I support Hillary and my purpose ceased. Drugs beckoned and I ran to their familiar siren call. I was personally defeated, too, on that day and I quit taking my medications and relapsed. The benefits of my psych meds ended and the old me came back in full strength. There was no slow progression or starting light as I know no moderation. It was all or nothing and I dove in head-first. Shortly thereafter all fell apart in earnest on November 25, 2016. I lost my freedom. It was the day called “Black Friday,” the day after Thanksgiving. I committed a horrible crime that I’ll never forget or forgive myself for. The next thing I knew I was watching Donald’s inauguration in a county issued Jumpsuit, orange foam shoes and behind bars.
By Douglas K R David5 years ago in Psyche
There Is A Path Out of Addiction
Yesterday I reflected on how long I have been struggling with alcohol. How sad I was when I realised alcohol abuse has been a part of my life for 30 years. I became even sadder when, after much research and soul-searching I realised the cause of this suffering.
By Belinda Tobin5 years ago in Psyche
