addiction
The realities of addition; the truth about living under, above and beyond the influence of drugs and alcohol.
Are video games and Computer screens, including cell phones and most electronics, considered another addiction?
Within modern society, most of us, and indeed our kids, have electronic apparatus with screens. There is considerable discussion over the implements of screen control and disclosure of violence in video games. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), some of the rigid protocols for screen time may be unnecessary, indicating that not all time kids contribute to screens, including digital devices, is harmful (AAP, 2020). The AAP suggests a balance between the rising dependency on technology and what is healthful for youthful and growing minds (AAP, 2020).
By Dr. Reanna Waugh PhD5 years ago in Psyche
Drug Psychosis
The psychiatrist wanted me admitted to the ward, I cant remember what he said to me. He looked as if he was trying to lower my voices, there was pressure on my forehead like it was closing down on me. I relaxed & let it spring back up. I was intrigued by him, it was if he in some way could hear what was happening in my head. He didn't seem to like me & I don't think he had my best interests on his mind. I expressed in my head I wanted the voices to attack him while he was leaving the unit, he stopped & turned his ear towards me. My voices followed me into the hospital, they got quieter during the night. It was if the other patients in there were clearing my head out. One of them identified to me, one of my voices was difficult to get to leave me alone. There was some sort of chant going on through the night, like a clearing spell, voices were approaching me then being silenced. I woke up the next day confused, but there was no more pressure or tension in my head. Which had been caused by all the voices, being so loud all the time. The psychiatrist recommended medication & to stay admitted, he said I wasn't able to go home. He hardly let me speak, he wasn't listening to what I was saying. He was making his own decisions from what he thought was happening to me, without really explaining anything. I just wanted to go home. It was awful in there, nothing to do, trapped in a small area, interacting with other patients that were really unwell. I had to wait to go outside, the voices were there showing concern for me now. The medication was giving me a high, making voices around me happy, then I would get really tired & crash. I really didn't want to be there, I didn't think they were helping me. I thought the mental health team were attacking me, like the voices. Covering up what was actually happening. I did feel more in control of my headspace, but lost control of my freedom. I was thinking about methamphetamine & when I would be able to have it again, I was tense & becoming angry I couldn't have it. The psychiatrist changed & this one seemed more patient centred. He explained to me there were changes in my brain, I told him there was nothing wrong with me & suggested a scan. He told me my drug intake had caused me to become this way. I knew it had nothing to do with the drugs, the voices were real. I witnessed several things that proved to me they were real. I had also heard voices before in my life, when I was a child. I wasn't exposed to methamphetamine until I was 37. Hearing voices didn't seem too strange to me, I believe anything is possible. I couldn't handle the 24/7 violating attack, I was made to tolerate. I had other issues I needed to sort out. I was losing my house, lost my dream job, asked for my daughter to be taken off me & I had a so called boyfriend that was emotionally abusing me. All the mental health team were concerned about was my methamphetamine intake. The psychiatrist released me, after speaking with my daughter. My daughter explained I had always had similar beliefs, to the ones I was expressing now. That was my way of interpreting, why things could be possible. My follow up care was home visits by my case manager. She was caring & understanding, suggestive & supportive. I felt at ease with her, it was if she knew what I was going through. I was in my bathroom, I could feel something crawling through my skin. I felt it escaping, flapping its wings. I looked in the mirror, there were moths evolving out of me. I was having anxiety type symptoms, extreme despair. It stopped, there was instant relief. My case manager called me asked if I was alright. Somehow it seemed as if she knew, how was it so coincidental? The voices consisted of groups, the ones sounding like the mental health team, were on my side. My voices got control of me again, my hallucinations more real. I was admitted to the ward again. My explanation consisted of an infection on my foot this time, anything except methamphetamine, being the cause. I disagreed with my admission, demanding I be released. They got security to restrain me, so I could be medicated. I didn't need security to restrain me, I needed an explanation of what the medication was for. I allowed them to administer medication, after I was fully informed of the medication need. I had been here before, I knew I had to agree with them & accept treatment. I didn't want to be there, I asked for medication every time I was awake. I slept all the time except for when they woke me, for meal times & review. The psychiatrist recommended a new medication, a regular anti psychotic depot injection. I could have it & be released. The medication put me into a parkinson type state; I would shuffle to move, no control over my movement. I was exhausted all the time, I could barely function. My head tilted to the side, I was starting to drool. The voices made fun of me & asked if I had been away. My case manager came to visit me & recognised I was suffering severe side effects. A reversal medication was prescribed, I got some normal control over myself again. I thought they had put me in a permanent state of disability, not able to care for myself. I had a review with a different psychiatrist this time, they wanted to administer the same medication. I refused, I cried, I begged not to put in the zombie like state again. It had no benefit to me. The psychiatrist listened & agreed I should not have that medication again. That was the first time I believed the health care team were actually considering me as a person. The voices were still there, this medication had little to no effect, on how the voices were able to attack me. The medication made me gain weight, made me tired & caused my period to cease. The psychiatrist diagnosed me with skitzophrenia & let me live in this state & only considered how I coped with the situation. I had to function & not share all of my experiences with the psychiatrist. On one occasion I thought I heard him speak to me with his mind. The expression on his face was of rejection, when I made clear with my mind I didn't want to communicate this way. On another occasion the voices attacked him, he was trying to ignore them. He moved in his chair & nodded to a question, I heard the voices ask him. It was like he believed I accepted the voices attacking me. The medication was ceased after a year. I moved house & the voices disappeared. They came back to me after only three days. I was allocated another psychiatrist, he was inquisitive to how I coped. He admitted me. After I expressed I felt like the cause of the voices was gaslighting & they were projecting my thoughts. A new medication was administered, the voices disappeared instantly. I was relieved I thought I had to live with the voices for the rest of my life, finally something that worked. But then the side effects of the medication became too much, I was sleeping over 14 hours a day, no motivation or energy. I felt kidney pain for two days after administration of the anti psychotic medication. My methamphetamine intake did not change. We agreed to stop the medication, I was prescribed an oral medication. I did not take it. My voices returned, it built up to another psychosis quickly. I had at least twenty voices attacking me, feelings of things entering my body, seeing unusual things & experiencing short changes to my body. The psychiatrist put me back on the same anti psychotic depot medication, but at a smaller dosage. I am now symptom free & living a normal life. I even quit methamphetamine.
By Tamika Muir5 years ago in Psyche
Drug Psychosis
I was hearing voices, it felt like I was being observed, I was seeing unusual things & it felt like there was a presense approaching me. I was in realisation my life was out of control, I had a so called boyfriend emotionally abusing me. My belief in myself disappeared, I was ashamed & felt guilty. I could not afford my methamphetamine addiction & pay for essential needs. I had fallen into a hole & could not get out. I was functioning but I was gone, like a zombie, completely exhausted mentally. Lost, scared & no idea how I was going to get back to me. I had lost my relationship with my children. My drug addiction was my priority on my mind. I needed help to sort my life out, I couldn't escape the situation, I didn't know how. I wanted to get better, I wanted me back. I couldn't find a solution that would help me. I knew I had to stop my drug addiction, it was going to be the only way out of this horrible situation. I visited my local GP & informed her of my drug addiction. I cried when I told her my children had to have pasta & tomato sauce for dinner. My daughter shouted at me when will you be a real mother. My brother said I had to get off the methamphetamine. The voices were following me, attacking me, threatening me & telling me things they were observing. Making me aware they were there. Making themselves more important then me. They wouldn't leave me alone, kept trying to make me tolerate them, demanding my attention. It was like an experiment was being conducted on me. They wanted me to believe in them, acting as if they could help me. The voices were trying to change me, they were voicing how they could make me a better person. Interviews were happening around me, they were talking to each other about me. They were saying they were talking to my friends & family when they came to visit, commenting on what my friends & family were thinking. They were making me aware of what they thought of me, judging me, stating they were better then me. One day I was having a shower & their was a presence of an investigator taking notes & observing how I was reacting to the voices being there. They were trying to make me feel comfortable with them being there. They were trying to voice to me, they were comfortable with me & needed me around. They kept returning even though I didn't want them around, they were burdening me, making the whole situation harder to cope with. I asked for help & I became more incapable with them being there. They were not there to help me in anyway, they couldn't help, they didn't really want to. They violated me in the worst way thinkable. The voices would state they would confuse me, allowing me to think it wasn't really happening. They wanted belief in them, but act as if it wasn't real. They were trying to get closer, more involved in my thoughts. The voices were trying to figure out the way I thought, a plan to change my way of thinking. It felt like they wanted me to give full control of me to them. They were increasing the disbelief I had in myself. I was followed by a couple of men & I could hear them talking about me, I was really anxious. My so called boyfriend had been harassing me all day, I needed to leave my house. I couldn't handle the voices & being observed & followed. I spent the night at a friends house & the next day the police called me saying mental health was looking for me. A psychiatrist & a nurse came & picked me up from my house, I was admitted as a patient.
By Tamika Muir5 years ago in Psyche
At the Mind's Edge: A Drug Addict's Story
It was a chilly evening in southern California, where I found myself tensely standing on the front porch of a stranger. Steeling my nerves, I knocked three times on the door in front of me. Almost instantly, it opened, revealing a woman. Like a child in a candy store, she intently eyed me, her inspecting gaze doing nothing to hide her building nervousness and excitement. We introduced ourselves, awkwardly shook hands, and she promptly invited me inside. The apartment was neatly cared for, but quite bare, carrying the feeling of a sterile laboratory. A table and two folding chairs were all the furniture that was in the main living room. Plain, white, undecorated walls left the place feeling all the more empty. We sat down, and after a few minutes that felt more like an eternity of idle chatting, she stood and made her way over towards her bedroom, beckoning me to follow her. 'Thank God,' I thought to myself. Small talk had never come easy to me, so I was thankful that portion of the night was finally over.
By Nikki Layne5 years ago in Psyche
Someone and everyone controlled Denise
All I left with was a bag of clothes. I couldn't live like this anymore. I went and picked the baby up from the drug addicts mothers house and my daughter from daycare. I slipped away and stayed at a friends house for a couple of days just too clear my head. At this point I had no clue what to do. My family had been terrible to me so I didn't want to go back there. I could not be with the drug addict anymore and I knew no matter what I did everyone from both sides were coming after my kids.
By Denise Harris5 years ago in Psyche
He tried to kill me, but let's save his life
I was woken by the drug addicts mother telling me that the drug addict was locked up in our house and he was about to commit suicide. She told me that I was the only one that he would listen too and the only one that could save his life. What?!?! He tried to kill me last night. You remember that right? These were the thoughts going on in my head as I scrambled around in a confused fog trying to get my clothes and shoes on.
By Denise Harris5 years ago in Psyche
Don’t Smoke On Air. Talaat Captan Has Some Valuable Tips For You
Followings are the valuable tips from Talaat Captan about smoking On Air:- Recently, there was news appearing on television and other media regarding a man who was prohibited from flying to Indonesia after he was caught smoking while boarding the plane. As we all know that there are certain rules which need to be followed while travelling on air. It includes wearing a seat belt during take-off and landing and no smoking anytime during the flight, which also includes the lavatories. The United States was the first country that banned smoking on domestic flights, which had over six hours of total duration, 28 years ago.
By Albert David5 years ago in Psyche
Addict Halfway House to Apartment SCAM!!
This is the middle of my road to recovery. I am incredibly proud of how far I come in these last 9 months. I am so proud to say that I have been clean and sober for 9 months and have not slipped once. And I'm not knocking on wood because I'm simply not going to let that happen. The biggest thing that I have learned is that no matter what is thrown at me, I am in control of my actions. I cannot control other peoples behaviors, but I can control mine.
By Stacey Eastman5 years ago in Psyche
I will be hiding behind the Fire Station
I will be hiding behind the Fire Station. These are the last words I spoke that I can clearly remember before I actually hid. I hate even thinking about saying those words. I hate thinking about the moments that led up to and followed those words. So, let me rewind to get you to this point so you can clearly understand this situation.
By Denise Harris5 years ago in Psyche
Eclipsed
August 21, 2017. A partial solar eclipse, a part of the sun seeming to have disappeared only to leave a black void. August 24, 2017. Another soul gone too soon. This one a freak motorcycle accident. Steve, the barber, who was just getting excited about recovery, excited for his daily meetings, attending and being a positive member of his small group and a way to ply his trade and make money; his motorcycle. Quick, easy and cheap transportation. The final piece had just been procured. He bought a new battery and he was ambulatory at long last. He didn't have a license but he did need to work. It was late August and everyone wanted their hair cut or colored.
By James S. Carr5 years ago in Psyche
Drug Psychosis
I was working fulltime as a registered nurse & midwife, while hiding my dark secret of the use of the illicit substance known as methamphetamine. I was injecting before attending work, it would make me feel enabled to perform my work easily. I was doing it for a year now, my workload was easy to handle. My ability to perform professional at work while under the influence diminished when I had the realisation I had a drug problem I could not control. Hiding the guilt & shame I felt for myself was becoming harder & the ability to compose myself lacked. The increasing worry I had of being exposed as a drug user overwhelmed me, the more I thought about it the more paranoid I became. There was an instance in my garage at home sitting with fellow drug users, I heard my work colleges voices attacking my friends with the dangers & legality of consuming methamphetamine, it was like they had tagged along in my headspace waiting for the opportunity to inform the users of their professional guidance. It was a war of rights to choose ones lifestyle without prejudice. I became increasingly unconfident I could hide my drug use any longer, how could they not know they were in the medical profession, they have the ability to observe ones deterioration in presentation. I arrived late, missed shifts & cried at work, found it harder to cope with my workload & lost time management skills. I observed the look of concern on their faces. there was an instance of skills compliance where I felt tested if I was performing duties correctly. I could hear their thoughts they were negative towards me & they didnt want me to be apart of the multidisciplinary team because I was under the influence of methamphetamine, they lost confidence in my ability, by this time I was using during my shift trying to gain power from this supposedly powerful drug. It was making me more paranoid they would be aware. The anxieties I felt were intense it was like everyone was observing me isolating me out. It was like the multidisciplinary team were talking about me & doing a case study on my performance, there was an increase in psychiatrists on the ward with feelings of them wanting to discuss my use with them. One day I was crying uncontrollably in the toilet and the manager would not answer my call & I heard her say to another team member I am not going in there to get her. I failed their expectations & they were not happy with me. I only became aware of this after admitting to myself I was unprofessional & should not be injecting prior to & during work. My guilt & shame started the lack of confidence in my work. I remember walking through the doorway to my workplace & the voices above my head said not today Tamika we are coming in with you, thats when I thought patients were doubting my ability to care for them, I even lost the confidence to greet them in a positive way, it was like they thought I should be the patient. I had one patient guiding me in the care I carried out for her, it was that moment my heart broke, I could not perform the job I loved. The hold methamphetamine had over me was too hard to conquer, it had me choosing the easy road of staying on the drug to get my rush I craved, I chose selfish pleasure over my life.
By Tamika Muir5 years ago in Psyche
My Amazon Addiction
Since this pandemic started I've been in a very bad headspace mentally. I was laid off, I had to move back in with my parents, I had 2 children to take care of, another one on the way, and as of late I have been diagnosed with Post Partum Depression. So what have I done to try to combat the ever-growing sadness, anger, and pain within myself? That's correct. SHOPPING. Now I haven't been going store to store shopping in store or online just buying anything that catches my eye. Just the one stop shop for my any and everyday wants and needs. AMAZON!!!!!!!! Now yes at this moment and since 2 months ago I have definitely calmed down and have gained some self control, but I wanted to share with you all how it gotten so out of control it became an issue. At first I was buying new baby clothes, a new rocker, a new crib, and other such baby materials. Then the guilt came, my older children weren't going the get the same attention they're used to, they'll feel like I don't love them anymore, they may believe they aren't special anymore, and because of that I decided to buy them both special gifts. My oldest I bought a kids digital camera and a big play salon set and my then youngest a Barbie Fashionista doll, and a Disney Princess grown up phone, credit cards, and car key toy set and then to share I bought them a Disney Princess pretend curio coffee,(or as I tell them Hot Chocolate), machine. Their little faces lit up when they saw what was in those boxes. I felt so happy to give them something they really enjoyed. Then I had this feeling I needed to buy something for my parents for letting me stay with them, just to show how much I appreciated the sacrifice they made for their freedom. So I went back to my favorite place and got them both, beautiful, different colored, coffee or tea cups. They are made from Glass, sculpted 3D designs on them both, and they just look so amazing in person. I honestly couldn't help myself, I knew how much they enjoyed their tea and/or coffee time and by their first impressions of them, they were. Then I got myself a new pair of really nice fuzzy socks. But that's how it all began.
By Rayana S. Walker5 years ago in Psyche
