Belinda Tobin
Bio
Author. Series Executive Producer for the award-winning Future Sex Love Art Projekt. Founder of The 3rd-Edge The Addiction Healing Pathway.
Stories (18)
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Patreon - A Study In Pussification
Pussification: the state in which a society becomes less and less tough[i] When the comedian George Carlin used the term pussification[ii] he was referring to the introduction of Harley Davidson themed restaurants and the evidence they provided that the tough brand had sold out to the soft world of weekend motorcyclists. It was a sign that the brand was no longer about “grimy outlaws and their sweaty mamma’s” but had prettied itself up to cater for “pussy boy software designers.” He laments the downfall of the Harley Davidson brand and the promise into fraud and meaningless. There is no better word than to use to describe the recent experience of Patreon. Welcome to the world of Patreon’s pussification.
By Belinda Tobin4 years ago in The Swamp
Sexual Materialism
In 1973 Chögyam Trungpa wrote the confronting text Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. He saw eastern religions such as buddhism becoming increasingly popular in western countries, but being adopted with superficial and inferior intentions. He saw converts grasping spirituality as a solid construct, seeking to own it, improve it and display it to the world. Almost 50 years later, his words ring true for the physical manifestation of our spirituality - our sexuality.
By Belinda Tobin4 years ago in Filthy
What Is Addiction?
People joke that the latest trends are addictive - the latest game, the latest toy, the latest TikTok dance - are all described as an addiction. In reality, though, addiction is not fun, it is far from enjoyable. Addiction is painful and traumatic. It turns your life upside down and has the ability to destroy your dreams and relationships. And these days there are so many more things that create such pleasure that they can become sources of addiction. There is an addiction to food, addiction to social media and addiction to video games. So it is important to understand exactly what is addiction, and with this knowledge, we are wiser to treat it.
By Belinda Tobin4 years ago in Psyche
What Is Sexuality?
What is sexuality? This, it appears, is the multi-million dollar question. It is said the subject is too complex for one consistent definition. And despite all the books I have read, I could not find one clear model that I could use to understand my sexuality, let alone discuss the concept with my children. Without a simple visual model and a common language, I feel the opportunity to have full and frank conversations with my kids is lost. But I have developed a solution that seems to be working, and here it is. Perhaps it could be helpful for you too?
By Belinda Tobin4 years ago in Psyche
Literacy, numeracy and porn -
Our educators are doing a courageous job arming our children with what they need to be safe and sane in this modern world. On top of the fundamentals of English, maths, science and history, curriculums are now providing digital literacy and emotional literacy skills. These latter initiatives aim to strengthen positive, equal, and respectful relationships among women and men and are included in the National Plan to End Violence against Women and Children 2022–2032 (The National Plan) [1]. However, there is one glaring omission from this range of new literacy programs. What about porn literacy?
By Belinda Tobin4 years ago in Filthy
How Can I Make It Through This Craving?
Of course, the most uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms can be cravings - the intense pull, the overwhelming desire to take the substance or conduct the activity. Cravings are downright cruel. It seems when you commit to cease your substance or activity, these demons dance around you, tease you and taunt you back into self-harm. These cravings can be heartbreaking, especially when you begin to see your mind scheming ways to get out of the detox to return to your addiction. This is where you see the very depth of your soul, the yearning for something more, the longing to relieve the pain. You also realise just how resourceful and persistent your mind is. Just imagine if you could apply this same time, energy and passion to a noble pursuit!
By Belinda Tobin5 years ago in Psyche
Blame My Brain!
Even before you became addicted, your brain made you vulnerable to substance and activity dependency. This is because, at the very core, we have an animal brain. All it cares for is getting pleasure and avoiding pain. Neuroplasticity also enables any behaviour (helpful or harmful) to become ingrained and automatic. The reality is that our brains both encourage and support our addiction at a physical level.
By Belinda Tobin5 years ago in Psyche
Are You Acting From Love or Fear?
Love and Fear Are Opposites Someone once told me that everything we do is done either out of love or fear. I wish I could remember who told me this so that I can thank them for this insight. It has helped me understand so much of what I see in this world. More importantly, it has given me a simple and powerful way to reflect on my motivations. I only need to stop and ask myself:
By Belinda Tobin5 years ago in Motivation
Do You Value Your Employees?...Really?
Concentrating on Complaints Is Cruel If you have read my previous article – The Untold Cruelty Happening In Your Organization Right Now, you will understand that a sole focus on complaints management can punish the employees you declare you care for. Would you set out to consciously crush your most important asset? I suspect not, but by an unbalanced preoccupation with complaints (compared to compliments), this is exactly what you are doing.
By Belinda Tobin5 years ago in Journal
Addiction's Greatest Victim - Trust
Trust: firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something. There are many casualties of addiction. The brain makes a cruel association between the substance/activity and survival, and god help anything that stands in the way of securing that person’s life-blood*. Health, career, family — all become secondary to the quest for survival. Body, mind and spirit are ravaged by the toxic substances and neglect that comes with a sole preoccupation with the substance or activity. And relationships are destroyed from the lies, manipulation and disgusting behaviour that comes with loss of control.
By Belinda Tobin5 years ago in Psyche
Why Being Data-Driven Should Scare You!
--- If I had a dollar for every time I have heard the phrase 'data-driven' lately, right now I would be cruising happily along in a Tesla headed towards my early retirement home by the beach. And without being rude, I am sure that is exactly what a whole host of consultants are hoping will be their reality soon, funded by the recent preoccupation with data analytics and business intelligence.
By Belinda Tobin5 years ago in Journal
