Psychology: Emotional loss in childhood is almost a retaliatory self-healing after growing up

The act of satisfying oneself with revenge reveals the emotional lack of childhood.

Everyone has experienced some emotional deficiencies when they were very young. In the process of growing up, some people have stronger psychological adjustment ability and overcome the emotional lack of childhood; while some people may need more than ten years or even decades to heal themselves. Because there are no perfect parents in the world, everyone has experienced one kind of emotional loss in childhood. The purpose of our discussion of childhood emotional loss is not to blame the parents, but to reveal the deep-seated problems within the individual, to help the individual to open the original heart knot, and thus to grow. Psychologists have found that individuals with childhood emotional deficits almost heal themselves in a vindictive way when they grow up.

Psychology: Emotional loss in childhood is almost a revengeful self-healing after growing up

Revengeful self-healing performance

Bought a lot of favorite clothes and shoes

When many people are young, their parents will not buy a lot of favorite shoes and clothes for their children. I saw someone leaving a message saying that I hate rainy days. When I was young, there was always only one pair of shoes, and only when they were worn out would I buy a new one. When the shoes are soaked in rain, they can only slowly dry them. Someone left a message saying that when they were young, their parents let them try on clothes and asked if they looked good. Later I realized that this was for someone else, and I was about the same size as the other person, so I gave it a try. Many people have had such similar experiences, so that when they grow up, they must buy more clothes that they like. Even if you can't wear it, you must store it in the cabinet and never touch other people's clothes.

Psychology: Emotional loss in childhood is almost a revengeful self-healing after growing up

Taste all kinds of food

When many people were young, their parents would not buy food for themselves because of limited family conditions. Seeing someone leave a message, only relatives and friends can have a good meal. And I can never go to the table to eat, I can only eat the leftovers of others when the guests are gone. Someone left a message saying that Dad brought some delicious food outside, and he gave it to the younger ones back home, and said that he should not let himself hear it. Many people have had this experience before, and the way to heal themselves when they grow up is to taste all kinds of delicacies. Although there is no condition to eat every day, you must try all kinds of delicacies. I'm afraid of being asked by others, but I haven't eaten it myself.

Psychology: Emotional loss in childhood is almost a retaliatory self-healing after growing up

Personality becomes independent and stronger

When I was young, I tried my best to please my parents in order to get the attention of my parents. But no matter what you do, parents are never satisfied. These people will become particularly independent and strong when they grow up, and they will never ask for help regardless of major or minor matters. Self-esteem is particularly strong, and I am eager to prove my worth. The motivation to encourage them to grow is that only by working hard and realizing their self-worth can they be valued by others. What they did was not to satisfy anyone's expectations, but they didn't want anyone to look down upon themselves anymore. Their emotions become cold, even if others kindly greet them, they will feel hurt. They work so hard, in fact, they are retaliating to heal childhood emotional deficits.

Psychology: Emotional loss in childhood is almost a revengeful self-healing after growing up

Especially love to travel

People who love to travel when they grow up are actually healing themselves in a retaliatory way. The purpose of travel is to discover oneself, walk towards oneself and become oneself. This type of person always keeps courting others and satisfying their expectations during their childhood. Over time they found that they were not happy at all. They don't know what they want, because they have always met the expectations of others for a long time, and have not considered their own feelings at all. Traveling allows them to temporarily leave the predicament and observe themselves from the perspective of a bystander. In the constant travel, they gradually discover themselves and gradually realize what kind of person they are.

Accept all new things

Children who grow up in a rigid, stubborn, and orderly family lack enthusiasm and vitality for life. The way for this kind of people to retaliate and heal themselves when they grow up is to accept all new things. In their opinion, as long as it is something different from the things that they had contact with in childhood, it can attract their attention. During their childhood, there may be many things forbidden by their parents. When they grew up, they made up for themselves. They actively experience new things and are keen to try all new things. They are unwilling to follow the rules and adhere to rigid and stubborn concepts, ideas, values, and dogmatism.

Psychology: Emotional loss in childhood is almost a revengeful self-healing after growing up

The logic of growth

Basic needs are met

If a person wants to grow, he should first meet basic needs, including material needs and emotional needs. Basic material needs include having favorite clothes, shoes, and favorite food. As the saying goes, one knows the honor and disgrace by having enough food and clothing. Food and clothing are basic material needs. Emotional needs include family affection, friendship, love, etc. Only when these three are satisfied can they mature. An immature person, when faced with some problems, either chooses to escape or chooses to deal with it in a defensive manner. And mature people have the courage to face difficulties and dare to be responsible for their choices. Never complain about life, but focus on life itself.

Psychology: Emotional loss in childhood is almost a revengeful self-healing after growing up

Contact life with true feelings

Another logic of growth is that the individual should be in touch with life with real feelings. The so-called true feelings are what you think in your heart, and then you express it. Some people have psychological problems because they did not fully release their inner emotions. I dare not say when I love someone, dare not say when I hate someone, dare not say when I hate someone, dare not say when I admire someone. Don't dare to take the initiative to establish a relationship, nor dare to take the initiative to reject a relationship. They live very depressed, and always face life with opposite emotions, so that they lose the vitality of life itself. Only by contacting life with real feelings can we move towards maturity.

All in all, people who lack childhood emotions can easily heal themselves in a vindictive way when they grow up. If a person wants to mature, he must first satisfy two growth logics.