Narcissists Don’t Seek Love — They Seek to Destroy It

Narcissists are loveless.

Love is necessary for harmony, joy, and peace.

Without love, there is only callousness, hatred, filth.

Lovelessness always defaults to ruin and destruction.

Passive aggression or explicit aggression are both the same, they seek to ruin, to destroy.

Most of the time, no objects were destroyed, no bodies were put into hospital.

What gets ruined is just usually the usual invisible casualties

harmony

joy

peace

Aggression, hatred, callousness are at perpetual war with the fruits of love (harmony, joy, peace).

So what all forms of unprovoked aggression seeks to destroy isn’t material objects, bodies, or even lives, it’s a spiritual war, it’s negative spiritual qualities warring with positive spiritual qualities. And it’s invisible. And it’s happening all around us, all the time.

Aggression is basically trying to destroy harmony, joy, peace, wherever it finds them. Toxic individual never leave others alone. Have you ever wondered why? There’s something compulsive about the way they need to ruin the peace and quiet. And they never go about it honorably, only picking on those their own size.

That’s why you find narcissists consistently doing these things

antagonizing

provoking fights

saying filthy, perverse, or nasty things out of the blue

misperceiving everything, misinterpreting everything, misunderstanding everything, projecting everything, even their jokes and entertainment are perverse and only seek to covertly victimize rather than spread joy

always raising the stress level and putting you in fight or flight mode

Buti if you choose to see it in the terms people are typically taught to see it, i.e.

they are just lashing out to get love and attention

they are testing you to make you prove that you love them

they are recreating their childhood conditions to try to heal

they never got enough unconditional love from parents

you will never see the truth.

And the truth sounds crazy and counter to how popular thought has taught us to see it.

The truth is, aggression, rebellion, chaos will always war with harmony, joy, and peace, and whenever aggression runs into harmony, it will always be compelled to senselessly destroy it. Many marriages and friendships are ruined over nothing. Little incidences wreck 20 years of relationships (in between they were covertly aggressing and subverting you, accumulating incident reports). Why? There is no significance in the incidences, the incidences are just the battlefield where the war gets waged. The big picture lies in the context, aggression versus harmony, and emotional choices are how the chess pieces are moved and played.

Back to basics. Narcissists spread conflict, chaos, filth, and unhappiness. Why? Is it because they didn’t get enough love growing up, and are lashing out now, or is it because conflict, chaos, filth, and unhappiness specifically destroys harmony, joy, clarity and peace? And prevent them?

That is why giving love to narcissist never works.

That is why no amount of love will heal them.

They don’t need more love. They hate love. They seek to destroy love (they’ve been doing it for a long time before you showed up). And you are giving them what irritates them the most. That’s why they punish your love giving with cruelty. Yet another puzzling conundrum psychology cannot explain. But spiritual war can. Two people had abusive childhoods, after they both grew up and left their childhoods behind, one responds positively to love, the other compulsively returns cruelty for love. Why? Can psychology explain that?

Narcissists are most at home in an environment with a sustained, low level of conflict and will always seek to transform their current environment into one that most resembles that (you can’t take the trailer out of them). They love disorder (filth), chaos (filth) and rebellion (aggression, violence). They hate love, because it’s too harmonious, joyful, and peaceful. How would psychology try to explain the fact that narcissists seem ‘happiest’ when in a sustained conflict environment, and will spread conflict into any previously harmonious environment? Why do narcissists spread disruption wherever they go? (e.g. observe that new hire, if they are a narcissist, they will start to poison the entire office)

Why do some people spread harmony wherever they go? Is it because they all got prize winning parenting? Are they simply the result of A+ parenting?

Without the spiritual war paradigm, many things will remain a puzzle.

Why is it so hard to say ‘thank you’ for some people?

Why is it so hard to say ‘sorry’ for some people? The more you prove their wrongdoing, the harder they will dig in and fight you.

Why are some people so obsessed with making sure they give you no closure?

Why do some parents work so hard to make their children hate them?

Why do some spouses work so hard to make their other half hate them?

Why do some children work so hard to bring parents grief?

Why is it that as soon as you display any obvious signs that you like them, some people will turn up the cruelty or the weaponized withholding?

What is the commonality in all these things?

My theory is that they seek to destroy harmony for aggression sake.

They are senseless as long as we fail to see that destroying harmony and being aggressive and getting away with it is itself the payoff. So they are not actually senseless. We’ve just been blind. They are seeking rewards in the invisible realm. Things unseen can nevertheless affect the seen world. Gravity and wind affect material objects. Something unseen is happening.

Emotions are real.

Narcissists are thrill seekers, but they are not pure thrill seekers. That’s a partial hit and a partial miss.

A pure thrill seeker would kayak down a waterfall. Narcissists don’t really seek that kind of thing.

Narcissists primarily seek thrills by antagonizing innocent, unsuspecting people. Their brand of thrill seeking always involves conflict and degradation (filth). Why?

It’s because the payoff narcissists seek is the destruction of harmony. That’s the specific thrill they seek. It’s a more spiritual thrill that they seek, as opposed to just purely adrenaline or dopamine based.

Narcissists don’t seek love.

People pleasers seek love. That’s why they are so unconditionally agreeable.

If narcissist sought love, they would be like the people pleasers.

Instead they are the opposite, exploiting, using up, and discarding people. That doesn’t resemble people pleasing the least.

What narcissists are, is filth spreading.

Through spreading filth, they spread aggression, disregardance, and rebellion.

Think back to all your interactions with narcissists.

Doesn’t dealing with them force you to become more aggressive, more dismissing, and to become more oppositional specifically towards the narcissist? Why? Do you feel clean and refreshed after your dealings with narcissists?

Think back to your interactions with people pleasers.

Do you become more aggressive and oppositional from talking to them?

It’s the complete opposite of narcissists.

Let’s bring it to a close.

It’s not just covert narcissists, and not just passive aggression.

All narcissists are aggressive.

Aggression is their spiritual nature.

And the point of their aggression is to destroy love, harmony.

And spread filth, conflict, and unhappiness.

The only question left to ask and answer is why they do this.