Mental Health; To share or not?

Sunday, 1 October 2023

By: TB Obwoge

This is a subject that can go in many directions, it’s a hot topic as mental illness affects a large number of people all over the world.

First we will deal with those individuals living within the United States. I will start with the statistics, because I live for the stats. I'm a person living with mental health issues. I was also certified in 3 areas of mental health treatment.

I'm also a trainer, every 2 years my Mental Health First Aid; for adults & children has to be renewed.

The statistics I'm about to supply you with are from the website in which all those trained and un-trained can obtain information about this type of first aid, statistics, as well as articles. MHFA It is like CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) as it gives you the tools to be able to support & assist someone that is going through a mental health crisis that needs quick life saving supports.

In the United States, 46.4% will experience some form of mental illness in their lifetime, 5% of adults (starting age 18) will experience mental illness within any year. That 5% totaling 43,8 million American citizens. Half of those will have their first experience by the age of fourteen.

Laws have been enacted to give fourteen year olds power to consent to their own outpatient treatment. The Act 147, also known as the the Mental Health Procedures Act, was put in place 22 January, 2005. Since many will experience some form of mental health issue | crisis around this age.

Despite these statistics no one really tells you when or IF you should share the fact that you’re living with these challenges to others. There is a possibility that you can attend a training entitled; “Story Telling”, it is an eight hour, one day training.

With facilitators that can support you in a day of practicing to tell your story. They can support you in polishing it in a way that you can share just enough information & what information to share with others.

Theres an importance that you share a concise story without the gory details about some of the most graphic things you’ve experienced. I attended this training after I had some very awkward moments of telling my story. I had shared some of my childhood growing up with an abusive parent that was also dealing with substance misuse, as well as their own untreated mental health issues.

Sharing stories of past abuse as well as current mental health with others has been a road that requires tact and guarding. These stories being told to others can cause them some trauma as well as put them in a position where they’re unable to handle or process what you’ve told them. It can cause you issues within friendships or even ruin them.

Once I shared a piece I had written for a manuscript, it was two pages of an incident that happened to me when I was about 5 or 6 years old. Not only did this cause the other person to cry, it made them pull away from me for quite some time. Things were never the same with that person either.

Sharing anything from your past you have to remember that for you it may have happened years ago, yet for that person you’re telling it is fresh, new, it has to them just happened. This is hard to keep in mind, it’s usually followed by some questions that you may not be prepared to answer. If it is a story of abuse at the hands of a parent or another family member the person you told might begin to question your current relationship with that family member.

It may also be followed up by destain & anger towards that family member if you’re still having a relationship with them. This is the one of the second things to remember, it’s important that you can chose how you interact with a family member that has hurt you. No one has the right to tell you how to interact or behave towards family members that have hurt you in the past.

One thing I was never prepared for was being rejected by someone I was dating because I had a mental health diagnosis. Many people especially if you’re a member of a minority group that shuns those for simply going to therapy. Sometimes they look upon you as having a weakness or a flaw. Some would use the word, “crazy” to describe you or if the slightest thing goes wrong your “mental illness” becomes the reason why things went wrong.

I am a Certified Peer Specialist, in order to become certified as a peer specialist you have to be a person that was in the past diagnosed with a major mental health illness. You attend a training, upon passing you receive a certificate from the state that must be renewed every two years.

So if you’re working as a CPS (Certified Peer Specialist) and you are asked by someone new to your life, it’s usually followed up with, “What exactly is a a CPS" leaving you to decide how to explain this.

I have learned to just say I work within the mental health field. That’s it nothing more nothing less. In the future I can decide what I would like to share about myself & my career. However there was that one time I was open, I happily shared my job title, then explained after I was thrown additional questions.

The response I got was, “Well that’s stupid, who would hire someone mentally ill to work with someone else mentally ill? That’s like the blind leading the blind!"

Instantly my heart sank, that was by far one of the rudest replies I have ever gotten at that time in my career or life. I quickly explained that I am, with my supports capable of living my life well enough so that I can support others who were where I once was. However that answer wasn’t taken so well, shortly after this exchange I was dumped. The reason being was that I am not their type & they thought that it would never work out between the two of us.

Sometimes that happens in life, people chose to walk away from you, that usually hurts, yet it’s for the better. No one wants to be with someone who’s not understanding of things that make you, well you! The sting left after a while, later in life I was given the blow off by someone because I am a Buddhist. It’s life, things like this happen.

You have to be careful of how much you want to share with others to protect yourself. Attending mental health groups can prepare you for many things that life throws at you when you’re living with a mental diagnosis. Groups like; Emotions Anonymous, CODA (dependents anonymous) or contact your local county mental health agency, they can provide you with the tools you need. Or check out the website link I shared with you Mental Health First Aid.

Thank you for reading 🙏🏽 Please consider buying a coffee for Lacey’s House efforts in Gender Equality & Children’s Rights as it tries to move international.

©️TB Obwoge 2023 All Rights Reserved