living with mental illness

Why do people keep telling me mental illness it's just a phase or it's not that big of a deal. If it's not that big of a deal then why do i have to go to therapy for it and pay for meds to at least have some serotonin even if it's chemical so that i can do my tasks during the day and be productive. First things first, ask yourself how easy is it for someone to accept that they have a mental illness? It's not that easy... right, They Are still accepting it, at this point They're in a defensive mode towards either it or Themselves. And maybe we have more than one mental illness to accept cause they don't come alone at all.

How many times have we tried to ignore it just for it to become a bigger issue. Meds sometimes helps but at first it's a roller coaster of what med will help you better and your body will work with it. We go off them, we get a withdrawal , we use them, we get nauseous, we don't sleep well, or they even take our appetite and there are days that we don't even eat at all thanks to them. But they say it's for the better. We have our ups or good days and then we get to really down or bad days.

For example if you're in a relationship how long does it take you to let your partner know that even though you like the physical part of the relationship it's not that easy to get off with or without their help thanks to you being on antidepressants for so long that at this point it's not gonna happen and sometimes we wait a long time to have this type of conversation because we fear of what the other person is gonna tell us. So we don't talk about it at all because we overthink about a lot. We are so scared because we always were thought to keep it on the low because no one has to know how big of a deal it is. We don't even tell the whole truth to our psych because of fear of being sent to an institution.

Now with the covid thing going on we don't even tell them anything just ask for our meds and be done with it. We would be like,give me the chemical serotonin Felicia.Depression is like this little thought you try to fight and keep obscured but sometimes it overpowers you. Anxiety to me is this little neddle who pokes you on a daily basis x times a day to tell you something is wrong but you don't know what. My panic attacks strike me whenever and they're confusing as hell because they feel like a brick in my lungs so i can't breathe correctly.

And then your work sent you to quarantine yourself because your roommate was sent home because she had no sense of smell, they sent you in this for a month. During this your mind went into overdrive how many shows did you binge watch in those 2 weeks how much coloring, painting ,or art did you do, how many video games did you play before you had a meltdown where you didn't have anything and were left alone with your mind which wasn't good at all. The answer is not enough to keep me distracted.

So your anxiety is at their maximum, same as your panic attacks and your depression is sitting at the corner waiting for their turn to enter the chat and normally that turn happens to be when you're going to bed. But you keep moving forward and trying to ignore everything. So Next time don't tell me it's just a phase or it's not that big of a deal because it is.

Maybe I'm just talking from my experience but it's been some hard months.