Lessons Learned: The Upside of Encountering a Narcissist

Yes, it is true that getting involved with a narcissist can and will lead to misery. Yes, it is also true that there are upsides that are not usually mentioned.

The reasons why the upsides are not mentioned, because victims are so shell shocked, traumatized, and trauma bonded by the experience with the narcissistic individual that they never take the time to genuinely heal or recover. Some victims experience (PTSD) from prolonged engagement in psychological warfare and other traumatic events when dealing with an abuser. Shell shock can cause a state of being stunned, confused, dazed, and panic driven. Unfortunately, this keeps the victim in a state of manic misery.

Some choose to turn a blind eye by staying on the hamster wheel or stuck trying to figure out what the hell happened in the entire ordeal. Some victims spend a lifetime trying to understand the misery that came with the abuse, and unspeakable misery some victims experienced. Some become so obsessed with the misery or abuse that they never can see the upside, only the downside which keeps them emotionally stagnant — emotionally paralyzed. Then you have victims who choose to spend their lifetime trying to weaponize or seek revenge on the narcissist as opposed to learning from the experience and finding healthy ways to heal, recover, and move forward. We all can learn from anyone or anything bad or good.

Let’s dive a little deeper — What usually isn’t mentioned: 〰🔰〰

I don’t believe nor think anyone purposely gets involved with someone who is toxic or dangerous. Though, even if some victims don’t want to admit it, it was you who gave them access into your life to begin with. Or it was you who allowed them to stay and continue to use, abuse, mislead, and manipulate you. It was you who saw the red flags but chose to ignore them. It was you who didn’t go no contact and allowed them access in/out of your life at their convenience. I’m not at all blaming the victims; my hope is for victims to recognize their role as a victim and learn the lessons along the way. Narcissists come into your life to present you with the truth, because they also present you with a lie and continuous lies. Narcissists come into your life to challenge your self-worth, your inner power-strength, and self-love to test you to see if you would love them more than you love yourself. They come into your life to break down boundaries, and to test your standards to see how strong or weak you are. They come into your life for you to fill their void and emptiness or for you to be aware that you cannot fix, control, change, or be responsible for someone who has a personality disorder. They come to show you that there are toxic dangerous people who are not meant to be in your life. They show you that there are others out there just like them or even worse, so that you can be vigilant.

They come into your life to show you malevolence and test your capacity of self-control. They come to show you what feels unhealthy so that you would know what is healthy. They come into your life to show brokenness, and damage, but also boundaries. They come into your life to lie to you so that you can embrace the truth. The truth about who you really are, not what you try to be to them, and for them. The upside is that you can work on your weaknesses, boundaries, emotional vulnerabilities, self-worth, self-love, and self-awareness. There are many people who have been impacted by abuse or an abuser and it motivated them to take a closer look within. A very close look, deep soul searching, and self-reflection to enhance your inner strength as a way to love yourself even more, to learn self-protective skills so that you can see what you really need to work on as an individual.

They come into your life to show you darkness as they come to show you the light. They come to bring pain so that you can cherish your joy. They come to bring confusion so that you will hold on to your peace. They come to show you your weaknesses, and your strengths, which will you choose? Lastly, not only will you gain a valuable lesson learning how nefarious narcissists can be, but you also can gain more self-awareness and self-resilience. That is the (upside) of encountering someone with NPD narcissistic personality disorder. May you know the signs, may you not continue to be a victim, and may you do whatever you need to do to protect your emotional-mental health.