Latest Stories

Most recently published stories in Psyche.

Toxic
Based off real events. She first met Steven in their sophomore year of high school. They had just been kids back then. Both of them were members of the track team, and ended up bumping into each other and hanging out at one of the meets. Ellie went to a different school then he did, so it would've been so simple to have just kept him as a sort of distant acquaintance, who she only saw from time to time... If only she had known back then what the future had in store for her.
By amanda6 years ago in Psyche
Brittle Bones: The Comedown
Abstract: The following excerpt is from my fictional coming-of-age novel about Audrey Anderson's life, a girl from a small made-up town of Tribuca, California, an aspiring musician. This excerpt is a continuation of part one in Indio, CA.
By Paulina Pachel6 years ago in Psyche
Pot Gave Me Anxiety!
So I will never forget my first moment of “anxiety” or panic and what it brought. I was in the 5th grade and I went to the Twilight movie with my friends and their mom. I had read the book Twilight so I knew what to expect, for the most part, and didn’t think I would have a complete utter meltdown at the end of the vampire/werewolf love story. But when Bella was bitten at the end of the movie in her old ballet studio and there was blood and screaming I was instantly brought on with anxiety. And no not the type of anxiety where I freak out about my homework that’s due tomorrow. The type that I had never experienced before... palms sweaty, knees weak... yeah you know the rest. I literally felt like I was dying! I remember getting up out of my seat and running out of the theatre. I was literally about to feint and my friends mom (who thank God is a nurse) told me to put my head between my legs and eat some M$Ms. I remember my heart racing and having tunnel vision and being completely incapable of controlling my feelings. Two words: Panic Attack. In the fifth grade!
By Morgan MacDonald6 years ago in Psyche
My Heroin Career
So, to explain the photo, this was a test strip that I used to test the remaining paraphernalia I had left, after I had overdosed and nearly lost my life to fentanyl. Like most people I started with a Percocet prescription from the “doc” aka my dealer. Soon enough you realize these grab ahold of your life and they do not let go. Soon the dosages aren’t enough and you resort to buying your pain medication on the street. I lasted about 10 years of just using what doc prescribed, but soon enough I was searching the streets of a very dangerous neighborhood, basically racially profiling anyone I thought could get me what I needed. (I had heard from some friends certain blocks have guys standing outside selling them). After about 3 hours of paranoia and debating wether or not to get out of my car I met “T”. He was as friendly as your local deli lady, asked me what i needed and, let me tell you his customer service was bettter then Walmart’s lol. But anyway, I proceed to wait on the corner of a street where 15 other dealers are standing trying to get their money. “T” returns with the Percocet, something seemed different about them but I figured hey it might’ve got messed up during shipping whatever excuse you tell yourself because you value safety less then getting high when you an addict. I even approached it somewhat smart, did half my usual dose to make sure nothing was wrong with them... seemed to be working. I take my normal dose and two hours later I wake up in a hospital, with a breathing tube down my neck because it was laced with fentanyl. And my heart had stopped my lungs would not operate on their own, I was damn near a vegetable. I’ll never forget the pain on my mother’s face... I nearly lost everything I loved, and destroyed the ones who love me...
By B SKOK6 years ago in Psyche
How To Help Someone With PTSD
have just come downstairs, and I am having a cup of coffee with my partner. Our two dogs are lying at our feet and our daughter is making herself some breakfast. I started to realise how lucky I am. I was diagnosed with PTSD about 15 years ago. Since then, I have seen the birth of my daughter, being the victim of domestic abuse, witnessed my daughter being abused and been through a divorce. Now there is peace in my family. There is only one way to describe my current partner; she is amazing.
By Nic Castle6 years ago in Psyche
I survived, for now
Not sure how to do this. Just saw this site, and I got a little excited and thought I’d see if anyone would even hear me. Im Kayla. I’m 24. I have GAD, PTSD, and panic disorder. My life has me a little messed up, but I’m still here!, just holding on by a string., everyday is a struggle for me. I’m gonna start with a summary of some of my life and and i can get into more stuff next time, in hope That people want to know more. My life has been nothing but trauma since literally the day I was born. Born in BullHead, Arizona. I was a premature baby, was born addicted to meth, & I wasn’t breathing for the first thirteen minutes, and had to be flown to another hospital. And that’s the only Information I have from my birth. So sad because I don’t have any other information. My birth parents were very abusive and very much hooked on drugs, in and out of jail, Dad was an alcoholic, mom was addicted to meth, all of us were homeless, staying in a car to random people’s houses or trailors. I lived with them till I was 5 or 6. I had a sister at least, a year and half older than me, and she took care of me when our parents weren’t. Which was all the time and I would have died if I didn’t have my sister. Our dad tried to suffocate several times. He would chock us and also put a pillow over my face. And they would beat the crap of me and my sister, very often, with anything they could find. From being choked to almost death, to our mom pouring boiling hot soup on our heads, to all the unheard of abuse in between. Last day I saw my birth parents, me and my sister were walking home from school and we saw hella cops, an ambulance, fire truck, and then we see my mom coming out in handcuffs so I ran so fast to her because I knew she was getting taken because they were always taking her away from me. But a cop snatched me and my sister right up and put us in the cop car. And our dad got us out of the car and took us to his friends house and our grandparents came and got us the next day and took us down south with them,to find somewhere else to live. So what happened was my mom stabbed our roommate in the back with a very large knife , all because the girl wouldn’t give my parents more time to pay rent. And my mom was extremely high. So she tried to kill the girl. Her name was Bobby. I really wonder if she ever lived 😔 one of the many questions I have about my life. Last day I saw them. So our grandparents had us, but wanted nothing to do with us really. But she had to figure out something. So my one sister went to our aunts house, my other two sisters stayed with my grandparents,... while they sent me to live with strangers . They chose me to move around, because I was “extremely well behaved, never complains, the best kid, etc”. I got put with families because I went with the flow and adjusted to my environments very well and did anything I was told...then another family, then another, all abuse nightmares, then to foster care. Which I wanna tell in another story, next time I write a story, if this even gets read?. All of them, the home’s I lived in when I was younger, were abuse stories that have so much to them and could really help someone & I just pray this gets read:I just wanna be heard for the first time in my life. And I wanna help someone. I want to be to someone what I needed growing up that I didn’t get. Which is love and acceptance, and a friend, a family, support, a safe place to go, all that. In life.. i just wanna help people. It’s the only thing that gives me happiness and peace., the only thing, making others happy. All I wanna do in life. I have a lot more I want to share. Feels like I could go on and on, but I don’t wanna waste anyone’s time. Hopefully I get some feedback. I’m here for you!! -to whoever needs to hear that! I’m here to help. Just wanna love people. It’s nice getting some things out. Thankful. And just thanks for reading if you did, seriously... thank you 🙏
By Kayla Stejskal6 years ago in Psyche
THE SUBTLE SHADOW
Life can be a bind, don't you think? Round and round we go with our little lives. One massive pulsating algorithm that never lets us stray from the path. Ephemeral and fleeting we traverse the years with only one way of getting off the merry go round. Death.
By Dom Watson 6 years ago in Psyche
Following Your Bliss
‘Follow your bliss,’ they said. ‘You can’t go wrong if you follow your dreams.’ I’m here to pop this bubble and say that this is an absolute crock. Following your bliss does NOT guarantee success, just like buying a lottery ticket doesn’t mean that you’ll wake up one morning a millionaire. Sure, if you have a go at following your bliss, then do it wisely. Do not jump in head first without research, forewarning or preparation. Yes, the five ‘P’s do apply here - Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.
By Rev. Joshua Sidgwick6 years ago in Psyche
You are Enough
In this age of social media, it can be more difficult than ever to truly get a grasp on what’s real and what’s fiction. We live in an age where there is a constant lens on image. Many of us feel pressured to live up to an ideal or picture that may or may not even exist. As social creatures we seek to fit in and be a part of society; and nowadays that means participating in the portrayal of real time “living”; that is living your life through a filtered lens that the public, at large, participates in.
By Alonzo Smith6 years ago in Psyche
No! Anxiety is NOT forever.
There are many articles on anxiety and how to understand it, learn to better cope with it, and manage it. Those words don't sit right with me because I don't want to have to manage anything that I could potentially control. I want it GONE and I believe that's very possible seeing as my unnecessary anxiety IS almost gone!
By Jewelz 6 years ago in Psyche
Psych Ward
In September of 2018, I lost my emotional support animal, Rascal. Not only was Rascal my puppy that had been there for 10 years, but he had been there on nights I put blades to my skin, nights I had been molested, nights where I tried to kill myself, nights ex boyfriends would throw me down stairs, push me out of cars, and throw me to the floor, and nights where no one was there for me. Losing him was one of the biggest pains, simply because he held all of that in his small, ten pound, four-legged body. The worst part about it was, it only took him a few hours to die. We did not expect him to grow so fuckin sick in hours and I did not expect to hold my very best friend as we had to end his suffering from a silent cancer. This drove me off the rails. Who was going to let me cry on them and cheer me up at the same time? Who was going to hold my deepest secrets and not tell a soul? In October of 2018, after nights on end of college parties, drinking bottles on top of bottles, staying around friends I knew were fake but they kept it from being silent, I knew it was time. I knew that I was ready to kill myself. I had nothing. So, I disappeared with no trace. No one knew where I went, if I died, or been taken. I drove to a psychiatric hospital and checked myself in. I told myself, if I still want to kill myself after getting professional help, I can. But first, I have to try. For a suicidal person, I was quite reasonable. I knew I wanted to get better but knew that it would take a village for someone with as much trauma as me. I was fucking scared. I had never even seen a hospital specifically for psychiatric needs. I had been in and out of the Psych wing of Emergency Rooms, but never to a hospital that specializes. I was scared, but oddly excited. I WANTED to get better. I did not want to constantly feel suicidal and sickened by myself. Just barely over a month before, I had gotten raped on my BIRTHDAY.
By Sweet Mk 6 years ago in Psyche
5 Benefits of Meditation on the Brain
Meditation is utilized all over the planet. The purpose is to clear your mind of all thoughts and focus on being still and calm. We live in an age where sitting still in a quiet room with no distractions or technology is unheard of. Yet, our bodies need the break from the chaos. To decompress and gain an understanding of how to control our own wandering thoughts. Meditation can lead to a multitude of benefits, including:
By RJ6 years ago in Psyche