I survived, for now

Not sure how to do this. Just saw this site, and I got a little excited and thought I’d see if anyone would even hear me. Im Kayla. I’m 24. I have GAD, PTSD, and panic disorder. My life has me a little messed up, but I’m still here!, just holding on by a string., everyday is a struggle for me. I’m gonna start with a summary of some of my life and and i can get into more stuff next time, in hope That people want to know more. My life has been nothing but trauma since literally the day I was born. Born in BullHead, Arizona. I was a premature baby, was born addicted to meth, & I wasn’t breathing for the first thirteen minutes, and had to be flown to another hospital. And that’s the only Information I have from my birth. So sad because I don’t have any other information. My birth parents were very abusive and very much hooked on drugs, in and out of jail, Dad was an alcoholic, mom was addicted to meth, all of us were homeless, staying in a car to random people’s houses or trailors. I lived with them till I was 5 or 6. I had a sister at least, a year and half older than me, and she took care of me when our parents weren’t. Which was all the time and I would have died if I didn’t have my sister. Our dad tried to suffocate several times. He would chock us and also put a pillow over my face. And they would beat the crap of me and my sister, very often, with anything they could find. From being choked to almost death, to our mom pouring boiling hot soup on our heads, to all the unheard of abuse in between. Last day I saw my birth parents, me and my sister were walking home from school and we saw hella cops, an ambulance, fire truck, and then we see my mom coming out in handcuffs so I ran so fast to her because I knew she was getting taken because they were always taking her away from me. But a cop snatched me and my sister right up and put us in the cop car. And our dad got us out of the car and took us to his friends house and our grandparents came and got us the next day and took us down south with them,to find somewhere else to live. So what happened was my mom stabbed our roommate in the back with a very large knife , all because the girl wouldn’t give my parents more time to pay rent. And my mom was extremely high. So she tried to kill the girl. Her name was Bobby. I really wonder if she ever lived 😔 one of the many questions I have about my life. Last day I saw them. So our grandparents had us, but wanted nothing to do with us really. But she had to figure out something. So my one sister went to our aunts house, my other two sisters stayed with my grandparents,... while they sent me to live with strangers . They chose me to move around, because I was “extremely well behaved, never complains, the best kid, etc”. I got put with families because I went with the flow and adjusted to my environments very well and did anything I was told...then another family, then another, all abuse nightmares, then to foster care. Which I wanna tell in another story, next time I write a story, if this even gets read?. All of them, the home’s I lived in when I was younger, were abuse stories that have so much to them and could really help someone & I just pray this gets read:I just wanna be heard for the first time in my life. And I wanna help someone. I want to be to someone what I needed growing up that I didn’t get. Which is love and acceptance, and a friend, a family, support, a safe place to go, all that. In life.. i just wanna help people. It’s the only thing that gives me happiness and peace., the only thing, making others happy. All I wanna do in life. I have a lot more I want to share. Feels like I could go on and on, but I don’t wanna waste anyone’s time. Hopefully I get some feedback. I’m here for you!! -to whoever needs to hear that! I’m here to help. Just wanna love people. It’s nice getting some things out. Thankful. And just thanks for reading if you did, seriously... thank you 🙏