Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
Legendary Poetry: Elation
Elation Why do I feel this way? By all means, I should feel as though a ton of bricks were dropped directly on my head while I "rested" on a bed of sharp nails. My pain, my evil and cruel "friend", haunts me, torments me, and harrases me daily, nightly, and whenever he, surely it must be a he as he is as brutal as the worst dictator might be, both wants and desires. And so I sit ith my head in my hands curled up int e fetal position doing the best I cn to endure my pain. I have long since hoped that my pain will actally go away because the fact of the matter is, my pain has NOT gone away. What does all of this have to do with elation or happiness you may ask. Please be patient with me and let me tell you the tale that will eventually answer this important question.
By Legend Gilchrist6 years ago in Psyche
Healing my Heart and Body
I’m finding that as I am getting older life is beginning to be more complicated. You have to deal with relationships, friendships, illnesses, death of loved ones and self esteem issues. I have been thinking about my life and where I am at this point. At the age of 41 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and last year I finally divorced from a marriage that felt like I was in a Tyler Perry movie.
By Letitia Robertson 6 years ago in Psyche
Heaven on Earth
This virus is teaching us that not even the human race are permanent. That no matter how much destruction we cause on Mother Gia; she will be here flourishing. Giving re-birth to the plants and creatures that habitats this planet, we call home. The human race is Mother Gia shadow aspect. We are her 'Shadow Self'. Every living thing on this planet has a cycle they are following or on the path of. That includes Earth. - There are things we can't comprehend due to our level of understanding of how the universe works. We are in barking towards a completely different change. Not as individuals but as a whole. -
By Merichel Sanchez6 years ago in Psyche
Crowning Glory
My story isn’t a happy one, but it’s something I’d like to get off my chest. I’m hoping by sharing it will help me heal and move on. I’m a woman and I have bald spots on my head because I suffer from trichotillomania. If you don’t know, trichotillomania is a disorder that creates an irresistible urge to pull out one’s body hair. Some pull eyebrows or eyelashes, many, like myself, pull from the scalp. As a woman, I feel my hair is strongly connected to my beauty. I’ve been told since I was a young girl that long hair is beautiful. Men like long hair. I had long, thick hair that my mother did not know what to do with. She frequently told me how hard my hair was for her to deal with. I began to dislike my hair. Every day seemed like a battle between my mother and my hair. She wanted my hair to be silky straight, and it just wasn’t. She was not shy in expressing her disdain. When I was 5, my mother got married. Benny, her new husband, my stepfather, was nice to me at first. When my mother became pregnant with my little brother, Benny took on a new interest in me. It began with me sitting on his lap and feeling his hands down my pants or under my dress. I didn’t like this and tried to avoid him, for which I was punished. Punishment came in the form of a beating with a belt. When my mother asked what I did, she was told that I had lied about something. Benny would come into my room at night to “tuck me in,” which involved fondling and kissing my neck using his tongue. I started to wet the bed. Every morning I woke up with wet sheets was a morning I would get a beating. My mom didn’t question it, she just took Benny’s word for it. I was, “...too lazy to go to the bathroom.” My brother was born and the abuse continued. One day, Benny commented on my hairstyle. He liked it. I don’t remember the exact moment that my fingers found my scalp, but the sensation of plucking a single strand out was one of relief from the anxiety I didn’t understand. When I was 6, my mother took me to a salon to have my hair relaxed. My scalp felt like it was on fire. I cried and squirmed. I was threatened with, “If you don’t stop, I’m telling your father when we get home.” I let it burn as tears ran down my cheeks. My hair was straight and my mom loved it. My scalp was tender for a week afterwards. I was now in a vicious cycle of “touch-ups” every 6 weeks. It burned every time. My hair started to break off. Now, it wasn’t long and beautiful anymore, which meant I was ugly. My mother took me to get my hair braided with extensions. The stylist pulled my hair so tight, it hurt. I cried and squirmed. “Do you want me to tell your father?” Absolutely not. I sat and cried. Even with my hair separated into skinny braids, sections pulled impossibly taut, I still managed to pluck out strands. At one point, I tried to tell my mother what Benny was doing to me, which by age 10 escalated to him having me in my parent’s bedroom naked, so he could look at my body and touch me anywhere he wanted while my mother was at work. I was punished for lying. This continued until I hit puberty. When I became interested in boys, and they became interested in me, that was another reason for Benny to beat me. I left home at 18. I wore weaves to disguise the 3-inch bald spot at the nape of my neck. Ironically, I went to cosmetology school. I graduated and worked in a salon for two years. One of the stylists suggested I try a cute, short hairstyle to give my scalp a chance to breathe. I was nervous, but let her do it. I instantly regretted it. I felt the entire world knew my secrets and thought I was hideous. Fast forward 10 years, I had my son, and became a single mom. I started caring for my hair. I bought creams, oils, conditioners to help it grow, to help me love my hair and myself. Men found me attractive, but I lived with the fear that the ones I dated would eventually discover my secret. My relationships never lasted. I’m now 43, with a handsome, brilliant, almost 16 year old son. I wear my hair in twists with extensions that I do myself. I cannot bear the thought of going to a salon. I oil and massage my scalp every morning and night. I have a goal to grow my hair out and wear it in its natural glory. My fingers still find my scalp sometimes. That familiar, comforting feeling of plucking each strand still calls me. I’m much more aware of it now and am learning to find other ways to keep my mind and hands busy. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but the tunnel is long. I’ve set a goal to have full head of healthy, thick, lush hair by age 50. I am learning to see my beauty, bald spots and all. I’m single, but by choice. I cannot be in a relationship and expect to be loved, if I cannot fully love myself. Every day, I lift and separate my twists in the mirror to remind myself of my goal. Each day is different. Some are better than others, but every day, the struggle is real. Thanks for listening to my story.
By Amanda Perkins6 years ago in Psyche
Suffering From Mental Illness
I've been suffering from major depression, hearing voices, and seeing things that were not there since the age of 5 yrs old. No one in my family knew what I was going through, accept my grandma, who truly knew I had a problem. Going to school was rough for me, as I was getting bullied every single day, which led me to almost take my life, but instead of resorting to that, I started doing self affliction to myself which took the pain away. To make myself feel better I'd scratch myself til I bled, which gave me at that time some relief. As I got in my teens, I started hearing and seeing shadows, angels, and demons, which at first, scared the hell out of me. In my teens, the depression got bad, I didn't want to live and the voices were telling me to hurt myself and others, the depression was severe I didn't have any energy, I didn't want to take a bath, comb my hair, etc. When I sought help and meds, I slowly got better and I recovered, I'm not cured, but medication and therapy for my mental illness has been a big help, especially with God's help. Don't be afraid to seek help, your not crazy, your not insane, get help and treatment, don't worry what people think or say, you got to look out for you!!!! Sometimes dealing with the highs and lows of mental illness can be depressing but meds really do make a difference , because it truly has helped me. Now that I'm on meds and getting therapy, my life has totally changed. Once upon a time I had social anxiety, which keep me away from large crowds and stores. I kid you not, walmart was one of the stores I feared the most because of large crowds, it was so bad I couldn't function, but therapy has helped me in this area. So now I can do my own shopping, pay bills, and drive. It has truly been a blessing, because now I got my GED, CNA license, Driver's license, and now I'm in school for psychology. I hope sharing my story help someone and encouraged them to seek help and not be afraid or ashamed to. Getting treatment for mental illness, is the best thing you can do to change your life, because it did me a 360, and hopefully you would apply yourself, change will come, you just have to have patience with yourself and have faith in God. You will get through this, together with spiritual, mental, and physical help. It's going to be alright, help is on the way, you can do this, I believe in you. Also I'd like to say to keep yourself busy at all times, because an idle mind is devil's workshop, because when your bored and not keeping your mind busy, all kind of thoughts will come to mind, and then, that's when the depression sets in, and for people, when it gets to that stage, some be so depressed that they commit suicide. Suicide is a serious issue today, people who not in our shoes will never understand what it's like to even have the thought or a plan. People who commit suicide, show signs before they do it like: depression, withdrawn, and pretending everything is alright when it really isn't, they be crying out for help, please have a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on, in their times of gloom and darkness.
By Latasha Bryant6 years ago in Psyche
Living Bi polar
Living Bipolar… Bipolar disorder also known as manic depression, does not have a known cause. What is known is that it is a combination of one’s environment, genetics, and altered brain structure and chemistry. It is a mental health condition which will cause extreme mood swings. Being bipolar means having high-highs followed by low-low’s or vice versa. The manic side of bipolar can have symptoms of feeling euphoric, unusually irritable or when you feel full of energy. The depressive side of bipolar shows symptoms of sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest or pleasure in most activities according to the Mayo Clinic website.
By Anna Thompson6 years ago in Psyche
SUICIDE
You never know what is actually going on behind that beautiful face you see every day, you never know how heavy that heart feels to act normal in order to fake feelings, and you never know how hard that soul cries to sleep every night. All you know is how happy and peaceful they look outside.
By cheekati meghna6 years ago in Psyche
Understanding Depression
I have no idea what depression is and how it looks like. I thought you could either be sad and happy but have no amount of sadness that can destroy a human life. I came to know this only when I went to the Western world and having two past relationships in which they both have depression. I’ve seen all sentiments on Facebook and how important to address a problem that’s eating away the minds of affected people. This type of mental illness is dangerous and unpredictable. How can we solve a problem that is spread out and no objective kind of healing that can swiftly eradicate its symptoms? I have been interested in this subject because I have encountered it and experienced it with people that were once involved in my life. I guess it is just right to understand what it is and how we can prevent this from happening or how to alleviate the problem if it’s happening to your loved ones.
By Tiger Oliver Budd6 years ago in Psyche
Illuminating Narcissism
Being born a creative person I shared with him some of the things that had brought me to this point in my life. I was also born with an auto- immune condition and so not understanding his complete lack of empathy toward anyone or anything I found out that a person with this type of personality disorder is one that would say their vows and if you became sick with an illness and you needed their care, they’d be gone! I’ll talk now about my journey up to the point of meeting him and although I thought I had achieved a lot and made great choices for myself, in his eyes every single choice of mine was just useless and he had something to say about it all!
By Angela Fosnaugh6 years ago in Psyche
