Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
S.A.D.
My alarm had gone off twenty minutes ago and here I still lay, staring at the little black book on my nightstand. It was Thursday that it came into my possession, and now on day two since our introduction it has haunted me with a perverse fortitude. The first night I left it on the kitchen counter, tossing it down with a slap and a two inch slide, the annoyance of it feeding my desire to see it as nothing significant to my life. However when I woke Friday morning it was there to greet me, questioning me as if I had forgotten the day before. There was something teasing about it that morning. But this morning, this morning it was being arrogant. I rolled over, turning my back on it and abandoning it for my morning routine.
By Letitia Parzych5 years ago in Psyche
How We Try to Fill the Hole Inside: The Crazy Cycle
It’s astonishing how feeling-based, subjective, and cyclical many of our beliefs are. It’s not only us drug addicts, but food addicts, womanizers (sex addicts), bulimics, anorexics, alcoholics, nicotine addicts, social media addicts, game addicts, all of us, relentlessly seek the things that make us feel good. As we pursue them, we experience a sensation of momentary but fading satisfaction. If we want to feel that way again, we need more. Round and round we go, each time through the cycle our dependence increases. Outwardly, as we strive to find purpose and meaning we go through cycles. Inwardly our brain goes through similar cycles.
By Michael J. Heil5 years ago in Psyche
Settling Accounts
SETTLING ACCOUNTS I sat in the corner booth of Efferding’s Diner where the waitress filled my oversized coffee mug. “You gonna need a box for that?” Of course, I was going to need a box. No one ever came out of Efferding’s eating everything. Unless they were a competitive eater or weighed 900 pounds.
By Aime Wichtendahl5 years ago in Psyche
Freedom
It was another excruciatingly hot day in Tijuana, but JR did not notice. He spent most of his days and nights inside, with the occasional trip to the market. As he lit his pipe, for the tenth time that day, all he could think about was how am I going to get out there of this? The darkness and depression that ruled his mind was full blown after nearly thirty five years of drug and alcohol abuse, and the suicidal thoughts kept creeping in. It shouldn’t be too hard to find a way to die, after all he had spent the last twelve years living in “The most dangerous place on Earth”, as he commonly referred to it. Is today going to be the day, the day I end it all?, he thought to himself. Taking a large drag the Meth quickly entered his system and all was right in the world for a fleeting minute. Temporary bliss...was just that, temporary and the despair moved over him like a thick fog. Alone...he was always alone, then looking over at the dirty coffee table his mind focused on one object.
By Christina Murphy5 years ago in Psyche
How Forming Habits Happens in the Brain
Both good and bad habits can produce dopamine dumps in our brain. Bad habits are often easier and take less work but can deliver similar or higher amounts of dopamine to our brain. When we act on these bad habits, we create long-term potentiation in which we are training our brains to be more responsive to these things. The more we do them, the more we strengthen the connections between these neurons. Over time the desire for these neurons to release the neurotransmitters that give us pleasure grows to becomes so strong that these tiny little turd-buckets rule our lives. When this happens even small triggers like smells or taste or memories can excite the synapse, making us feel an inert need to act on that bad habit. Our brains, neurons, and synapses will ultimately end up where we have trained them to end up, and after a while they will lead us there too.
By Michael J. Heil5 years ago in Psyche
The daily mind of an average human. Can you handle it?
There really isn't an easy way or right way about sitting in front of a computer and looking at a blank word document or hell even in looking at a blank page of a journal on a desk or even in your lap. As someone who suffers several mental illnesses life is sure of one thing. How to make my life as miserable as possible. I live my life the way most do, I get up in morning, find some kind of breakfast and begin my day with signing into my job at home. Is it easy, most days, others are hell and it never feels like it will end until it does when I finish my day at a decent hour. I eat dinner and then spend half my night lying awake in my bed as my soon to be husband sleeps like a damn baby next to me and I won't say that I blame him or myself for my inability to sleep but I wish I could fall asleep as fast as him some nights. But the process begins again the following morning, and its a never ending cycle and undoubtfully a long one. It won't end unless I were to magically die the next morning for some unforeseen circumstance or I retire when I am of age. Maybe even with the possibly with disability but I may still work to provide an extra amount of income at some point down the road. Right I am so gonna do that who am I kidding to most average every day people I am an abled body human being that can still work and take of herself without any kind of help. That's what you would like to believe but in reality its not like that. And because of that is one of the few reasons why I turned to writing. It's one of the few things that allows my mind to set free of its thought process and I thought what better way to use my mind and make some kind of money off it by sharing it to the public eye. Don't judge me, I haven't slept in a week and if I have slept its only been about an hour maybe two if I am lucky.
By Hazel Taylor5 years ago in Psyche
4 Qualities Of An Introvert That Will Shock you
Most people misunderstand introverts; they think they are shy and have an attitude because they will not talk much. But That's Not the case, There are hidden qualities of an introvert that will make them different from other people.
By Arsalan Haroon5 years ago in Psyche
Actaeon
‘He didn’t have to read it.’ That was her consolation after Julian’s…accident. Merging onto I-91, Katelyn didn’t know what else to say. It wasn’t her fault—it couldn’t be. When she received the letter eight days ago, she couldn’t possibly have known what would happen. But her father? Could he have known? When he wrote, ‘I’m dying, Kati. These will be my last words to you,’ did he also know how she would choose, or what it would do to Julian?
By Robert Bailey5 years ago in Psyche
Some Call it Baseless Fear
I can feel it again, that surge of dread that settles into the depths of my stomach until something unbelievably terrible finally happens. It happened only once before, but I was written off as “emotionally unstable” or some other made up bullshit people use to validate these unjustifiable feelings. Maybe it’s a worldwide anxiety, like the onset of World War III. I hope so. It would be much less painful if the entire global population was involved in this terror instead of it engulfing exclusively my world. That might offend some people. So be it. But I’d rather have the next world war than lose someone I love. If they implement the outdated mandate for a draft, I’ll simply gather up those eligible in my life and flee on a bus to Canada. I’ve always liked the snow; it makes it increasingly more difficult for zombies to attack you.
By Melissa Carey5 years ago in Psyche
It's my time
My mom banged on the bathroom door, "You're failing two classes! What’s wrong with you?!" I could barely hear her over the sound of my music. I looked down at my feet. Something was happening. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't think. I wasn't frozen, I blacked out. I didn't fall, I didn't knock anything down. It happened again. I looked the shower floor. I started crying. I thought to myself "Why can't I be normal?"
By Brigid Miller5 years ago in Psyche
