Just Chic

Isn’t she lovely? The apple of his eye. His sweet, innocent babygirl. Honest, trusting, and pure. Protected by his warm embrace. Surrounded by his love and grace. Nothing in this world could harm her; as long as she had her dad by her side, walking in perfect stride. Right?

At least that’s what I thought. Dark clouds crowded my blue skies as I watched day in and day out, the life slip from my father’s eyes. Fought long and hard against this disease brought on by simple sweets. Until he had no more fight left, took his last breath, and he was gone, so peacefully in his bed. My world fell apart as though it were the end. My joker, protector, friend, my dad; just like that he was gone. The one who’d make me laugh when I was sad. The one who’d always protect me from harm. Gone.

As my world crumbled around me a protector came along. Trusted by those who loved me the most. Thinking, “hey, I’m going to be okay,” only to find he was a monster in disguise. Slithered his way into my sanctuary. Trapped underneath his being, tears streaming down my face as he takes from my innocence, my purity. Calls for help muffled. Pain. Just pain as my body was being torn apart.

“Hush lil baby,” he whispered in my ear between his grunts of pleasures and my cries of pain. Wishing it would end. Wishing I would be saved. He kept coming back again and again until he couldn’t anymore. A moment of relief. Just a moment. Another comes and has his way longer than the first.

Broken, lost, tainted. Unworthy, dirty. Searching for an escape; anywhere would be a better place. Putting up a front for my family, my friends. Showing them that I’m fine, I’m alright when really I was broken to pieces inside. Frantically trying to glue together the shard of me, but never succeeding. Searching for something, anything to fill the void. Walking aimlessly across this vast wasteland I called life. Losing hope for relief, for escape.

Suddenly, I stumbled upon an oasis. I’ve found an escape. Joyously frolicking in meadows of Mary jane. Kicking back on clouds of Snow White. Dancing in oceans with blue dolphins. Partying beneath waterfalls of Jose Cuervo. Searching love beneath a guy’s pulsating heat or a girl’s cloud nine cherry Chapstick embrace. Still, nothing filled that void.

Losing hope, contemplating suicide. Took a gun, pointed it to my head; one shot and I’d be dead. I’d be free. Pulled the trigger, click, click, click, nothing… “Why?!” Screams of frustration echoed through the sky. Had to find a different way. Grabbed a bottle and some xan, a time flip is what I needed. That’ll do the trick and put me out of this misery. Looking up at the night sky, closed my eyes, and waited to be swept away. Darkness swallows me whole. This is it, my end, my final escape. A voice cuts through the darkness. A voice so familiar. A voice that filled me with warmth, with serenity, and I knew instantly who it was. My joker, my protector, my dad.

“You cant do this anymore little one. You have people to live for. You have a greater purpose, find it, fulfill it. I’ll be here by your side…”

A gust of wind knocks me on my chest, taking my breath. I gasp for air, like a wave crashing on the shore I come to. Open my eyes to a breathtaking orange and yellow sky. As the sun rose on the eastern horizon I stood.

A breath of fresh air filled my soul.

A new dawn, a new drive, a new life.