Jarrid Wilson, Depression and the Church Celebrity Culture

I heard the news today, oh boy…

Jarrid Wilson, 30 y/o pastor commits suicide… had battled depression for years and it finally overcame him. What a world we live in right? What a strange Christian industry we have created… I’m sure the guy must have felt the pressure to put on a brave face, be the strong young pastor with the bright future ahead. I read he started a ministry to reach out to those who struggled with the things he struggled with, but it all became too much.

Such a tragedy… but one I can fully relate to.

A few months ago, I took a huge risk and made a decision to step back from my pastoral role at Create Church in Kansas City for some of the same reasons that Jarrid took his life. I have lived with depression for most of my life (and I finally found a medication that is helping) and the pressure of family, ministry, life, and mental health became overwhelming.

I’m not broken, washed up, or useless in any way, but life sometimes gets overwhelming and you need to just take a step back.

But…

That doesn’t fly in the church world, unfortunately. Pastors aren’t allowed to be human, depressed, struggling. So, as much as I appreciate people sharing the posts and talking about it, let’s be honest about something… it's easy to post an article on social media, harder to face it in real life. Since I went on sabbatical, our church attendance dropped in half, giving dried up, rumors swirled around, and it felt like the world was collapsing. That's the reality for most pastors. Our world doesn’t allow people to be broken, hurting, struggling with depression, having marriage issues… We live in a world where EVERYTHING in our life is interconnected—relationships, career, finances, family, faith… So, it’s no wonder that Pastors don’t want to talk about their issues.

The moment you do, your ENTIRE world is affected and you could lose everything just by being honest about your problems.

This is a systemic issue and not one that is going to disappear quickly, unfortunately. It won’t change until we acknowledge and deal with the celebrity Pastor culture, stop making the stage the entire focus of our ministry model and stop setting ourselves up to be the church’s “personal savior.” Our churches are built around a victim/oppressor/hero culture that sets pastors up on big pedestals… 
How many pastors have emotional and physical affairs, addictions, struggle with depression, anxiety, have fears and concerns and yet are required to show up as the hero each week? Until we stop creating celebrities out of our pastors, this will continue to happen and pastors will hide what is really going on because they will lose everything if they are honest.

If you really want to be part of the solution, don’t just post on social media. Tell your pastor that you are there for them, care about them, recognize that they are human and tell them they don’t have to have it all together all the time. Be committed to your community, not just your leader. Give without expectation, not just if you like what the pastor preaches. Stop promoting the celebrity culture and start celebrating the humility culture. Hold the pastors accountable who do otherwise so that they know we won’t stand for that culture anymore. Honestly, maybe stop going to conferences that are driven by big-name personalities, are driven by marketing the latest worship band, have the latest and greatest lights and media…

Go visit a small community church that has none of those things but serves the community. Tell your pastor that you don’t need LED lights, big video screens, and cool media and you would rather they spend that money on serving the poor, oppressed, immigrants, and overlooked.

Go be a part of a community where people possibly don’t look, sound like or look like you…

There is a lot we can do to change things but it won’t change if we continue to celebrate the celebrity church culture and hold our pastors to a standard that we don’t live to ourselves.

Pastors, take a look in the mirror and stop pretending to yourself and your community that you have it all together. If you need a break, ask for it. If you are struggling, go talk to someone. If you need to make a change, make it. You are worth it. Don’t give up. We need you around a little longer, but not as half a person, as a whole person, fully alive…