How to Win People over: No one admits to being bad

When you criticize a person, he will not change anything, but will come back to resent you. You deny his behavior, is to deny his own, he will think you do with him, will regard you as an enemy. In the same way, when others criticize you, you don't change anything, and it only breeds resentment.

Psychologists have found that rewards are more effective than punishments in training animals, and this holds true in human societies as well. When you blame him, he doesn't reflect on himself. When you complain, you don't reflect on yourself and you irritate more people.

When parents command a child to wear long Johns, he would rather freeze than wear them; When the supervisor asked them to wear safety helmets and reprimanded them, they would rather be crushed to death than wear safety helmets. Why is that? It's disobeying you that makes you look good. So resistance, a lot of times is a face problem, you do not give me save face, I can not live with you, even if your request is correct.

Therefore, many people in their 40s come to me and say that they are straightforward and often offend people, but their bark is worse than their bite, and their heart is good. What's the point of being nice? The world is developing so fast, who you patience to look at your heart, it shows that you are not enlightened. You still think it's a good thing you're being straight, that you're doing the right thing, and then you have to let life punish you.

The evildoer never thinks he is wrong, so he cannot persuade him, and all he can do is punish him. Just like Wang Yangming in Jiangxi bandits, murder without blinking. The disciple asked him: Is it good to kill? Wang Yangming said: Killing bad people is to save more good people.

Lincoln never pointed fingers. During the Civil War, when the Union army was defeated, Lincoln wrote a scathing letter to General Meade, but the letter never went out the mail. It stayed in Lincoln's drawer forever. The battle has been lost, and it is no use scolding the general. The important thing is to learn lessons and win later.

It's the same with you as the boss. Berating an employee for making a mistake doesn't help much. Employees make mistakes, he is ashamed of his heart, there is no need to reprimand again. The employee will appreciate it if you tell him that the important thing is to get results.

Do not evaluate the present, only hope for the future.

Everyone desires to be respected and goes all out to get respect. The less confident people are, the more they need respect. The poor must be cautious and generous, the rich can be generous and stingy, that is the truth. If you don't feel present and valued by others, this can lead to a bad temper and eventually serious mental illness.

Why can the 38-year-old Schwab, who is already chairman of Carnegie Steel, do this? Was it because he was so skilled? Or was it because he was very specialized in steel? No, the reason is that he inspires enthusiasm. How did he do it? It's a compliment.

Compliments are the cheapest, and you don't even have to give out a red envelope to make people happy and boost their morale.

Can you immediately think of 6 positive things about each other in a relationship? Chances are, you've come up with six bad things about your partner. We find fault with each other every day, but we never focus on the good things about each other.

Some people say, isn't that flattery? If you tell a bald man how nice his hair looks, it's hypocrisy. If you compliment someone from the bottom of your heart, it's a compliment.

For example, some people often post their figure on wechat moments, which is to ask you to praise her good figure. If someone posts his famous car and watch on wechat every day, you should praise his success in his career.

There are skills in giving compliments. Tomorrow we will talk about how to give compliments.