How stop alcohol addiction? - 3

Drinking at home is increasing, especially among women, and it brings with it some special problems, particularly if you live alone or are drinking in secret when family or friends are out. It is entirely up to you to stop it. You have to say no to yourself.

Edna is a 52-year-old middle-class woman living in a detached house in a smart suburb of London. Two years ago she began drinking heavily, up to a bottle of white wine each afternoon and several large gins in the evening. She was regularly drunk. What had changed this happy-go-lucky woman into a person with a drinking problem? She had a lovely house, plenty of money, three nice children, and a very successful husband. What had happened two years ago to start it all off?

It was then that her youngest son left home for university. With another son abroad, her daughter married, and her husband busy with his career, Edna felt alone. She felt that everything she had lived for, everything that had seemed to give purpose to her life, had gone. She discovered that she didn't have friends. Her neighbors were mere really have any close acquaintances. All she seemed to have was an abundance of spare time. She questioned if it was all worth it: what was the point of it all? She felt lonely and sad, and to comfort herself she began drinking.

At first, it was just a glass of sherry each afternoon, then two and three. The sherry began to give her headaches so she swopped to white wine it was better for her figure. In the evenings she would share a few gins with her husband. At night she slept well but often woke very early and found it difficult to go back to sleep.

She knew she was drinking too much and began hiding the empties, taking them to the local dump so they wouldn't mount up in the dustbin and serve as a guilty reminder of how much she was consuming. Occasionally her husband, noticing she was slightly slurred in the early evening, would question her about her drinking but she was always able to assure him everything was under control and he had no reason to worry. She became a good liar.

Then one day Edna fell asleep in the armchair, forgetting she had turned the iron on. When she woke the dining room was full of smoke, a pile of clothes was scorched and the walls were covered in sooty grime. It was then that she admitted to herself that she had to stop drinking.

Edna's is a common experience among middle-aged women which results in problem drinking in the home. A chapter of their life, as a mother, provider, and protector, is over and they question themselves. The answer is to start a new chapter-not get drunk.

The first thing to do is say to yourself, I don't drink, and keep on saying it. Then tell your partner and all your friends. At first, they'll think you are joking but be patient with them, they will soon believe you. Try to break the news of your not drinking on your terms. Invite your friends and family around for a small drinks evening and then let them know quite casually that you have given up. By announcing it at home, on your territory you are in command of the situation and can feel comfortable-you are in charge.

Don't be frightened of what others may think, they probably won't think anything of it and if you have had a serious drink problem they will all be relieved and happy for you.

Saying you have given up drinking is a marvelous thing to do never forget that.

When your children leave home and you are left alone all day, perhaps for the first time in years, it is only natural to look back over your life and wonder if the sacrifices of bringing up a family were worth it. Well of course they were, but now that phase of life is over. Don't see it as the end of life but as the start of a fresh and exciting new era-the chance to begin all over again.

Go out and make new friends, join clubs and societies, play some sport or go back to school. Why not try starting a new career or, if you had a career before the children, why not start it up again? If employment is impossible, charity work certainly isn't. Organizations are crying out for help. Contact your local social services department-they will gladly put you in touch with charities.

There's plenty to do instead of sitting at home like a vegetable feeling sorry for yourself and turning to the bottle.

What can I take to stop drinking alcohol?

Break the pattern

Drinking at home normally falls into a pattern, buying the same drink from the same shop, drinking it at the same time, hiding the empties in the same place, and feeling very guilty about the whole thing.

The first thing to do is break the pattern. Say I m not going to buy any drink'. Change your shop and choose another that doesn't sell liquor. Try and shop at a different time from what you usually do. Buy your groceries in the morning when your resolve is strongest and get everything that you need in the one go. Never go back later if you have forgotten something it is just another chance to shop for alcohol.

To take the pressure off the afternoons arrange to go and see someone-if possible make dates to meet people you would absolutely hate to see you drunk. This acts as a break from any desire you may have to go on a binge. If you don't know anyone gets out of the house and go for a long walk in a very public place like a nice park, or go and sit in the library.

Breaking the pattern of shopping and drinking makes it easier to say no because you are doing something at times when you would otherwise be getting drunk. Very quickly the desire for alcohol will go and you will be able to walk past an off-license as if it were a paint store.

By using these tips Edna was able to break the mold. She took on a part-time job, worked for the local hospital's visitors group, began piano lessons she had stopped when she got married. She made a lot of new friends and started enjoying her new life.

She learned how to say no to alcohol and discovered the joy of not drinking.

The morning sherry parties

When one person or more is a problem drinker this can lead to heavy drinking among friends and neighbors.

Pat is 26, married with two children, and lives on a housing estate in a new town. She began drinking heavily but has now stopped completely.

She and a group of other young mothers began organizing coffee mornings, meeting at each other's houses to play records and talk. Soon the coffee was being replaced by sherry and the meetings increased from once a week to every day. At first Pat was reluctant to drink but with the others doing it she joined in and was soon pushing the pace. Often the whole group would be the worse for a drink, with Pat egging them on. She was drinking more and more and encouraging the others to join her.

Pat realized alcohol was getting a hold of her and decided to stop.

In this situation, the group was reinforcing each other's bad drinking habits. Pat only started because she didn't want to feel the odd one out.

With this sort of drinking it is essential to break away from the drinking environment. Pat canceled the sherry mornings at her home and refused to go when invited to the other's houses, telling them why and that she had given up drinking. At first, she felt lonely and out of it but she quickly discovered that most of the people in the group were not real friends, just drinking partners. A few were more than that and with these, she remained close, but the others have drifted away. When she stopped drinking she realized their company was not the fun she thought it was. Pat moved into a new circle of mothers and soon discovered how nice it was to be sober in the morning. She really began to enjoy herself. Pat has said no to alcohol and she doesn't miss it a bit.

Don't be tempted to go along with something just because everyone else is doing it. At first, you will feel left out because you have made alcohol the center of your life and those around you will be drinkers. Very quickly all this will change and you will look back on those drinking days and see them as a bad experience you are more than happy to put behind you.