How stop alcohol addiction? - 6

Some people get very nervous before going to a party. They want to look their best, to feel attractive, they want to have a laugh, and appear witty and confident. They see the party as a trial with themselves under scrutiny and, most important, they can come away from a party feeling they have failed. To combat this and give themselves an edge they drink before it starts, while others are going to the party to get drunk they get drunk to go to the party. Once you start you never stop and this drinking to boost your self-esteem seeps into other areas of your life. In the end, you are drinking just to have the confidence to go to the shops.

And the sad part is it doesn't work. Nobody thinks you are funnier, smarter, more articulate. They just think you are drunk.

Margaret was a pretty 40-year-old with a lovely figure, a quick mind, and a good sense of humor. At a small dinner party, she was the center of attention but in large crowds, she felt swamped. Whenever she went to a party she hated it. Then one day she got very drunk and everyone overlooked it and said it was funny. This thought Maggie, was the answer and she began drinking before every party. Then she began drinking heavily hours before each party, getting drunker and drunker each time. She began drinking for confidence, but now the drinking was undermining her confidence. She had become another victim of alcohol's vicious circle.

The answer was to break the cycle, to say no to alcohol. Only then would she be able to cope.

Margaret was frightened of large party crowds and so she hid behind the drink, using it as a shield to protect her. Why did she hate those parties? In a crowded room, she felt conspicuous and lonely. She was shy about joining in conversations, especially if she didn't know anyone, and would hover around the perimeter of a group too scared to open her mouth. If anyone drew her into the conversation she would get flustered and freeze up. So she turned to alcohol to melt the ice and oil her tongue. She would drink half a bottle of wine before turning up and then several glasses very quickly. after she arrived. When most people were into their second glass she was drunk. Her protecting shield of alcohol only made her more isolated. So she became more unhappy and drank more. She was drinking to have a good time at parties and all she had to do was stop drinking and believe in herself.

One day her husband refused to take her to a party because She had got too drunk beforehand and it was then she decided ner drinking had to stop. She had to have the courage to find out for herself that not drinking was not an impossible nightmare but the key to happiness.

At the first couple of sober parties, she felt scared but also proud of herself. She realized that not drinking was a virtue something to show off and for the first time she understood how stupid her drinking had been. Her whole attitude had changed partly because she felt more relaxed and confident-but also because of the reactions of other people. They saw the new woman and they liked what they saw. The center of attention at a small dinner party, she could now hold her own in a large gathering.

She was still sometimes overcome with shyness and was always nervous before a party, but she didn't turn to the bottle for comfort. Instead, she learned not to be afraid of these feelings but to accept and get over them.

It is important to remember that everyone feels nervous at times, not just you. In a room of strangers, everybody is shy. As soon as she stopped drinking Margaret made no secret of it. In order to give up, you can't pretend. If Margaret had appeared to be still drinking she would have had nothing to be proud of and her resolve wouldn't have lasted five minutes.

Stop alcohol anxiety

Don't lie

Never lie about not drinking, never make excuses. Not drinking is nothing to be ashamed of, don't ever forget that, and lying always leads to needless complications. And if you lie to others you will end up lying to yourself.

The drink doesn't help

Whenever I went to a party it always took me a couple of hours before I braved the dance floor. These couple of hours were needed to loosen up and 'get in the mood. Getting in the mood meant getting drunk. After a few stiffeners, I was ready to go out on the floor and wow them and for years this is exactly what I thought I was doing. It was only after I gave up drinking that I realized my dancing technique resembled a cross between Mick Jagger and Long John Silver on a trampoline. My dancing was terrible and I was getting up Dutch courage to perform it, not realizing the rest of the party needed Dutch courage to watch it. Now I enjoy dancing and so do my partners; I'm a great deal better since I gave those looseners a miss. There is nothing that is truly done better after a few drinks-whatever we may think.

Like the example of Dave, I was lost at my first party and spent the whole time being a wallflower. While most people danced, smooched, and kissed, I cuddled up with a warm cup of cola. I was miserable and it was my own fault. I have no excuses. Parties are just as good fun, just as good a laugh, better in fact when you're sober.

A party without alcohol is not the end of the world. A party isn't just drinking-it's music, food, conversation, dancing, romance, and fun. Make the most of it and enjoy yourself without alcohol.