How Sewing Saved my Sanity

I am known as a very strong individual. I work alone day after day as a private investigator. Hour after hour sitting beside the road waiting for miscreants to do what they do. I've been at gunpoint, stranded in snow storms, and sick as a dog on the road with no one to help. But that's life. And life goes on. Rarely have I faced anything that would cause me to miss a day of work or unsettle my mental equilibrium.

I was away from home when my eldest son died suddenly, unexpectedly, in his bed, in my home. Devastated does not begin to explain my life after my world shattered. I stopped at a gas station on the way to work, saw a bag of garlic rye chips that my son loved, and I fell to pieces right there in the store. I had to pull over many times on the way to or from work because I couldn't see for the tears. Months passed and it wasn't getting better. Mentally I was in a very dark and tortured space.

Then I had a surgery and had to be off work. Complications extended the time off. Financial difficulties began to loom in the future.

Linda, a Facebook friend, and I talked about these things. She said, "You sew, don't you?"

"Not in years," I said. "The way I work keeps me too busy."

"You aren't working now. Why don't you make dog clothes and sell them on line? I'm going to send you some patterns and a few things. You'll feel much better when you are creating something."

And she did. There were several hand drawn patterns for dog clothes, material, lace, trim and a long encouraging letter. I was very hesitant, but she had sent such wonderful things that I figured I owed it to her to at least try.

I purchased a pair of Fiskar scissors, thread, and the other necessities for a seamstress. The first cut of the scissors allowed me to draw a long cleansing breath. Cut by cut, pin by pin, stitch by stitch I began a path out of the depression and despair that gripped my heart and mind. I built a catalogue of unique design samples and joined an online pet clothes auction site.

My first sale made me feel even better. That someone else liked my creativity confirmed the things Linda had told me. I begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I sewed obsessively for a time, building my samples and making my catalogue.

My Fiskars came up missing. I tried a pair of scissors that my granddaughter bought me for $5.00. It was an exercise in frustration. They cut like someone had used them to cut cardboard for a year. I made an emergency run to the fabric store for another pair of Fiskars. Sewing with dull scissors was not conducive to my calm and healing mindset.

For over a year, I pinned, cut and sewed my visions of lovely pet clothes. Sometimes people agreed and ordered some for their pets. Sometimes a design fell flat on its face. It didn't detour me…creating these designs and works of art were my therapy.

It has been over two years since my son passed and I entered that dark place. I reached the end of the tunnel and emerged into the sunlight. Wiser, scarred, and stronger, life lies ahead in a brighter path. Gradually I recovered mental stability and acuity.

Yes, sewing definitely saved my sanity without a hint of exaggeration.