Finding comfort in my garden

I'm overly anxious most of the time.

I grew up in New York, then moved to Florida for college and stayed there for 19 years. Life was crazy with college, then a career, the trials and tribulations of finding love, and much more. After I met my husband, married and gave birth to our 2 beautiful daughters, my husband got a job in Colorado. Off we went with dreams of mountains, humidity-free weather, and for me... being able to finally grow a garden.

I had tried gardening in Florida. While you'd think that growing things in a climate that's basically a 24/7 greenhouse is easy, for me it was difficult. The grossly hot days and humidity reaching steam-sauna level ridiculousness, being outside just wasn't fun. After the birth of my firt daughter, my anxiety was through the roof. I was miserable, gaining weight quickly, and constantly worried about every little thing. By the time we moved to Colorado, I weighed 285lbs.

We've been in Colorado for two years now. In the time I've lived here, I started working on my garden in our beautiful east-facing backyard. The first year was a flop, my tomatoes were tiny despite the plants being huge. Zucchini did OK, but not a great yield. I had dreams of a beautiful garden on one side of the property, but that area was brown, dry, and a mess.

So, with the help of some extra tools (I couldn't buy just one, ya' know...), I set out to get my garden growing beautifully. I googled, I mapped, I YouTube'd, and I researched. "How does one make their garden not suck?"

Thanks to weight loss surgery, I've lost 125lbs and I'm finally comfortable in my own body... for the most part. That prize money sure would help with all this extra skin! I've worked really hard to lose the weight for my own health, after being told by a doctor that I would die from obesity before my children got to high school. Now I'm finally healthy, 160lbs. A BMI under 27. No more medication and I'm cured of diabetes. Being outside sucks a lot less because Healthy BMI + Low Humidity = Not sweating buckets and feeling like you're walking through a hot tub. And being outside is where I like to be- working in my garden and seeing my kids enjoy the fruits of my labor (literally!)

Being out alone in my garden means a quiet calm that I don't get much often. I love seeing all of the new growth. I love watching the sunflowers turn to face the sun as it moves across the sky. I check my anxiety at the gate and enjoy the slowdown of the day, learning to train my brain to slow down, be patient, and grow well... like the plants in my garden.

Now, my 5-year-old daughter quite possibly has ADHD, and she is a constant ball of energy that I just can't keep up with. I thought my brain was on overdrive and I'm already anxious as it is... but this kid brings that anxiety to a new level. She's in constant motion, like an out of control steam train that never runs out of water.

The garden, though... The garden helps me calm her, too.

She helps me water the plants. She checks my prolific tomatoes (4 huge plants!) for new flowers and keeps me posted on the progress of the currently developing cherry tomatoes. She learns patience by slowly watching on a daily basis how each plant grows and develops. She goes digging with my Fiskars trowel in the yard to find worms for the garden soil. My littlest enjoys watering the plants with her little elephant watering can, and helps her big sister dig up worms.

You may wonder where Fiskars ties into this story... I mentioned this challenge to a friend and she said "but how often do you use kids' scissors?". Most of my mom friends only seen them in their kids' pencil boxes. But oh no- Fiskars makes ALL the things, including some pretty awesome gardening tools! This year, my one and only trusty hand shovel broke... right in the middle of weeding. I had to run to Lowes for a new one and saw that Fikars made them. I got so excited because my sewing scissors- also that beautiful orange solely touted by Fiskars products- are still crazy sharp after many years of use. Ah, yes, I quilt too- it makes me feel less stabby. :) If it weren't for these products, for one thing- my garden would still suck.

So, thanks Fiskars... you unknowingly gave me the strength and fortitude to get my garden growing, my anxiety in check, and my children calm and patient.