Do You Believe No One Truly Cares About You?

Then start caring about yourself!

However, your belief is likely to be your faulty PERCEPTION of your situation, and not the actual reality. In our life, we always have at least one person who cares about us: whether parent, relative, friend or stranger. There is usually someone there for us. However, we tend to judge everyone as uncaring when we have been hurt, especially by someone we love. At such times it doesn’t matter who cares about us, because it is likely to make little difference to our feelings. That is why the remedy to this feeling is likely to lie inside you.

There is one undeniable fact of life: We tend to get treated how we treat others. If people generally do not seem to care about you, it could be because they perceive you in any of the following ways:

• To be a taker rather than a giver.
• To know people only when you want something from them.
• To be mean with praise, appreciation and gratitude.
• To be reluctant to help where necessary.
• To be insincere or hypocritical in your actions
• To be unreliable in your promises and care for others.
• Regarded as perhaps uncaring and selfish.

Do any of those apply to you, and your interaction with others? That is not the way to win friends and influence people, least of all to get them to care about you. Some people will take advantage of us and our kindness, but there is a direct correlation between how we treat another person and how they view us. However, the way we perceive others has its roots in how we view ourselves. It means that if you do not love and appreciate who you are, you are unlikely to be able to love and appreciate others, too, because you cannot give away what you haven’t got!

The simplest step to remedy your situation is to start caring about yourself, instead of just trying to please others, to fawn over them, or to be mean and insincere to them. Sometimes this is not an easy thing to do after years of acting in a certain way. But it all starts with how you treat yourself, and appreciate the unique person you are, before others can begin to really value you, too.

The first sign of real self-confidence is SELF-ACCEPTANCE. People of low confidence and esteem tend to believe they are unlovable, that they are unworthy and reject themselves. They tend to focus on their perceived 'weaknesses', what they think they lack, instead of their strengths. But such a negative focus does nothing to build or enhance them, or make them feel good, because all they are telling themselves, and thinking each day, is how awful they are, while missing the unique and talented beings they have grown to be. They are not likely to attract people towards them because they are too busy focusing on what they LACK instead of what they’ve got to give.

For example, in my darker days when I was much younger, I used to hate my stomach. I thought it protruded too much, and I forgot about my lovely face, smile, hair, figure - everything that other people were complimenting me on. I didn't care about those assets because my stomach was too big. And so I carried on that gloomy negative view for years.

Then 15 years ago my diabetes developed complications and I had to go on insulin injections. Which place on my body proved the best site for those injections? My stomach. The stomach I had always reviled and fretted about in my desire to be perfect! That stomach has quietly saved my life all these years. But in some ways, the diabetes was the best thing to happen to me, too, because I stopped taking myself for granted, I stopped focusing on my perceived ‘weaknesses’, and accepted myself for whatever I was, I started giving thanks and being grateful for just being alive, and life could not be more enjoyable or remarkable at present.

Resist the temptation to regard yourself as a victim who is not capable of being loved. Your negative feelings feel overwhelming because because you make them so with your focus. Accept yourself as you are. Be proud of you. Focus on your strengths and what you have to offer others, rather than what you are not receiving, and others will want to share your company. It all starts with the relationship with yourself.

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