Is There a 'Best Way' To Persuade Someone You Are Right?

This is an interesting question, as it might come as a surprise that there isn’t a ‘best way’ to persuade anyone that you might be right, especially when it comes to opinions. Not at all. There is a simple reason for this: unless we are dealing with irrefutable facts that can be easily proven with evidence, what we believe, and actually perceive, is tied up with our identity. It forms our values and makes us who we are. If we believe something in particular, the way we react to challenges and accusations of being incorrect will actually depend on our level of confidence and self-esteem.

If our confidence is high, and we genuinely believe in what we say, but have an open mind, we will defend our corner, firmly sticking to what we believe, but leaving some room for doubt. We would be happy to see the evidence or proof that refutes our argument, because we are also interested in learning and expanding our horizons, more than we are in just being right. We won’t agree too easily, but we are likely to concede more graciously, because our beliefs are not only tied to who we are. They also represent our tools, rather than our weapons.

If our confidence is low, we would feel rather inadequate to start with. Everything we believe is likely to be seen as the accepted 'truth', to prevent it being easily refuted. That’s the only way low esteem people get their sense of value. Their views will be almost written in stone so that, no matter what evidence or proof to the contrary is put before them, they will rubbish it or ignore it. Low confidence people can only see their side of a story, because another version will show up their ignorance, or lack of knowledge, making them lose face, and they mustn’t be wrong. They would rather misinterpret what was said to suit their argument, or ignore it altogether, than to accept the acknowledged truth of a situation. In their case, there really is no ‘best way’ to prove yourself right, because the moment you disagree with them, they are likely to stop listening to preserve their sense of rightness and self-esteem.

The only thing you can do in such cases is to politely argue your corner, presenting your evidence or proof for that belief, and agree to differ at the end, if your points are not accepted. You will not be able to persuade certain people, and you cannot force them to accept your argument. You can only give your side, and retreat. It is a desire to control how others think, and to impose our beliefs on them, why we think they have to accept that we are right and they are wrong, so we try to make them agree by fair means or foul. That will only be counter-productive.

There is nothing else you can ever do except put your belief forward, emphasise your key points, and then terminate the discussion in good faith, without becoming intimidating or insulting. You never know, they might have second thoughts later when they are alone and have considered your points, but they are unlikely to admit that to you in person!

Next time you are in a discussion with opposing viewpoints, remember that you cannot convince the other person of your opinion, if he/she doesn't want to be convinced. Trying to change their perspective will be futile because a lot more will depend on them being 'right' than will be obvious at the time.

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