Attention Deficit Disorder & Me

I am one of the lucky girls with ADHD who was diagnosed very early on in life. My mother (a teacher) was relentless when it came to finding out what was “wrong” with me. When I was underachieving in middle school, she had my IQ tested. When it came back far above average, she commenced on an expedition that led to doctor after doctor trying to “fix” my problems with daydreaming, procrastination and staying organized.

I can still remember her talking to one of her friends, “I have a Masters degree and her father is a decorated war hero, so she CAN’T be slower than her classmates due to genetics! Her problems can be solved and will be solved one way or another.”

After overhearing many conversations like that, low self-esteem & no self-confidence was added to the list of my disabilities.

True to her word, my mother did not let up.

She did the research, made the phone calls, and dragged me to the top pediatricians until finally, one young intern suggested I may be one of “the very few cases” of females with ADHD.

He wrote me a prescription and told my mother to watch me closely.

The Medical Trials & Me!

This was the beginning of what I call, “The Medical Trials Years.” It took a couple of years, and a few more doctors to find that I responded to Adderall well, and my grades soared.

Mom was happy and therefore, I was too.

I finally could remember where I put something, what my homework was, and was participating in class because my meds increased my ability to focus.

I must admit, even though all those trips to the doctor were horrible, and overhearing all my negative traits reported to family and friends was extremely painful, I was thrilled to be “normal” and successful in school.

Wait. Or did all my happiness really come from being able to please my mother?? Yea, that is another post for another time.

My mother whispered my diagnosis to only the people who she trusted and made me stuff my lunch dose of medication deep into my pockets every morning.

“What will people think?” I swear I am going to write it on her gravestone.

I didn’t care who knew! I never cared what anyone thought. But I still waited until I was an adult with children myself before I told my story.

I went on to graduate college and get two Masters degrees and I truly believe that without medication my life would have been extremely different with a lot fewer letters behind my name.

All this happened years before ADD or ADHD became a mainstream word in society. I shudder to think of what my life would have been like if my mother hadn’t been so relentless about finding resources to help me.

FWWGPs

I know these are white girl first-world bullshit issues, don’t get me wrong.

Humor me for a minute because not being able to focus on your own for more than 10 to 20 seconds (at most) can cause many struggles that other people don’t even realize.

A couple of examples:

-Anyone giving you directions.

If you can’t follow along, you get lost. Really, really lost. Both figuratively and literally.

-My %#@*$ keys!

Where are they? Medication or not----I never know.

We have tried the hook on the wall. It worked for a while then it was back to losing them again. I swear, there is a black hole in my purse underneath 5000 pieces of paper that are shoved in there.

My keys will sit on my desk all weekend long but Monday morning they somehow disappear from my desk only to appear on the kitchen table after a 15-minute search.

It's true! This is not a rant, so I will move on. You get the picture.

Watching Others Struggle

But when I started to teach middle school, I watched some girls with ADHD symptoms struggle as I did prior to medication.

I helped them with their organizational skills and remembering assignments but I wonder how many other girls (or how many girls of color? Or how many impoverished girls?) fall through the cracks because in the 21st century we still adhere to gender roles and “normal” behaviors in boys and girls instead of evaluating the whole individual child.

I am not advocating for medicating every child, or under the impression that every child who struggles with focus has ADD. I am suggesting that maybe a little girl with undiagnosed ADD who came to school hungry after getting four hours of sleep may not score as high on a test as a child who is well cared for and properly nourished.

Over the years of my teaching career, I have raised money for fidgets (small objects to keep students’ hands busy while at their desks), chairs that bounce, and created parent informational sessions about interventions for students who struggle with ADHD, focus & attention.

All of those things were good but made me want to do more & better for those young women who were struggling as I did.

I am passionate about students with ADHD, especially those who haven’t been exposed to the resources they need to feel comfortable in their own skin and haven’t had the tools necessary to help them build their self-confidence.

But lately, my focus has expanded to women who don’t get diagnosed with ADHD &/or ADD until they are older, who want assistance dealing with this new label someone has given them and what it means within their lives.

By trade, I am a teacher & behavior specialist, not a medical doctor or a psychiatrist, but I think when most people are suffering from a problem, the most encouraging thing they can hear is, “Yeah. Me too.”

Those words open a door and create a foundation for communication that helps everyone, with ADHD, grow and thrive.

Thank you for reading!