ADHD Life

I had to meet with psychiatrist they said. My appointment was at two pm. Okay, so I should go grocery before but my appointment is at two though. I don’t want to be late. So I should go after…? Right? Or will the store be closed by then? Or I could go tomorrow and order in today. Yeah, I will order in food that’s safe, I don’t need to leave my house. It’ll get done then. So then all I did was wait. It’s like being in a waiting room in your own house. I checked to make sure zoom was working so I can have this appointment. The appointment started and the psychiatrist looked at me and said “it sounds like you might have ADHD” and she noted something down. Wait. What? Then something started to make sense. Is that why I spent most of my days in the classroom daydreaming? Yes. Is that why I had to click my pen at work? Yes. Is that why I am consistently interrupting others? Probably. Do I overshare at work? 100% is that why I can never enter a grocery store and just get what I need? Yes. Literally, today I walked into Walmart “All I need is a stapler” I told myself before I walked in. All I need is a stapler okay? Oh what’s that the make-up aisle. I wonder if they have E.l.f. Oooo yes and it’s on sale score! Right. Stapler, new Nicholas Spark book? I’ll take that! That reminds me I need a library card. Wait. Stapler. I found the stapler and then I looked over the clothing aisle. I did lose that shirt, just a white tank top. Yes, okay I need to leave. And like that I spent 38$ ouch. The stapler cost me 5$.

I’m sorry you want me to do the dishes? Okay, well this is how it’ll go… I start with the dish soap and sponge and oh wait dishes need to be put away. Okay, I start putting them away. Wait. I had coffee mug in my car earlier. I go and find my keys in my purse, my purse needs to be cleaned why do I have all this garbage? I throw out the receipts, now my garbage is full. I empty the garbage, but I leave the bin without the bag because I forgot. I see that there’s a grocery bag that needs to be in the car. I take it with me and I open up the car put it in and close it I start to walk away. I forgot the coffee mug. I turn back and get it. I put the mug in my sink. Why are all those cabinet doors open. Oh that was me right after putting dishes away. Okay, dishes and suddenly I’m hyper focused and bam the sink is sparkling. Yup…that’s ADHD. My homework in school was not done because I forgot it. Yes, I forgot to do my homework even if it was written in my agenda.

Then, at work “hey can you read the twelve emails I sent you and can you fax this and get so and so to sign that.” Then I agree and after they leave I don’t know where to begin. I sit at my desk not knowing where to start until twenty minutes pass and I have not done anything yet. Right work okay do the urgent stuff first. Fax that, and everything resumes while getting distracted. How does a fax work? I googled. Should I take an IT course? Sure. Work. right. Focus suddenly comes hits me again and everything is done before the end of day.

Had I known sooner, could I have had better grades in school now that I understand? I wish I knew earlier.