5 Ways I Overcome My Anxiety Every Day

I could feel that familiar feeling. As I got jittery, my mind wandered uncontrollably. I reached out, grasping at anything I could hold on to, hoping that it was just a fleeting moment. I felt closed in, like the walls were suffocating me, pinning me down with no ability to move. Yes, I knew this feeling all too well. It was my anxiety, greeting me at the door.

I’ve dealt with anxiety for at least the last decade, but I never really put a name to it until roughly three to four years ago. Deep down, I fought tooth and nail to recognize that I was often anxious, because I viewed it as a sign of weakness. It made no sense to focus on things I couldn’t control! In typical fashion, I was trying to intellectualize my way out of an emotional experience.

Today, I know better. I have spent countless hours in therapy, meditating, journaling, doing breathing techniques, and more strategies to keep it manageable. My anxiety stems from the mundane to the seemingly catastrophic. Not finishing a work assignment that I think is going to get me fired, to systemic and individual racism I experience.  Although some of my gripping fear is about real things, the severity of my reaction is not. Join me as I detail how I overcome my anxiety every single day.

I ACKNOWLEDGE IT AND WHAT IT STEMS FROM

We all know that the first step to solving a problem is first identifying that you have one. First thing in the morning, prior to exiting my bed, I take 4-6 deep breaths and recite “what will be, will be”. No matter how much I force things, some things are going to pan out a certain way, regardless of my eagerness to control the outcome. As we relinquish control, we see that we actually gain control. My anxiety is typically on simmer, so addressing it head on first thing is a helpful way to keep it at bay.

I PRACTICE MEDITATION

Upon waking, and virtually every morning since the pandemic forced most of us to work from home, I began waking up early around 4:30am and meditating. You can dive more into the “why” behind that here! https://elev8td-wellness.com/the-gift-of-waking-up-before-the-sun-rises/ Prior to working from home, I was quite stressed, and we had just concluded spring break, which was much needed. My anxiety was nearly boiling enough to blow the lid off the pot, so I knew I needed to do SOMETHING. I did some soul-searching and that led me to meditate.

My meditation comprises lying fully extended on the floor, which I think is a good practice to do at least once a day. My go to is low frequency music that calms me, allowing me to focus on maybe one or two thoughts at a time. I always redirect myself back to my breath if I wander too far. Meditating for ten minutes in the morning, and sometimes up to twenty minutes, has really helped calm my nerves. It has also helped me tackle some tough internal issues like my perceived inadequacy and difficulties with vulnerability. Meditation opened creative doors that had been vaulted shut for quite some time.

I GET MOVING!

Physical activity is a wonderful option for decreasing those anxious thoughts, as it gives you somewhere to put them. Through our sweat, we release endorphins, giving us a feeling of pleasure. In addition, the health benefits are boundless, promoting a healthy heart, mind, and decreased risks for cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Even when I’m feeling lethargic and unmotivated to work out, convincing myself to do it for just ten minutes usually works, along with having someone else to work out with (my wife). Starting is often the hardest part and once ten minutes hits, I rarely stop there. My go to's for physical activity are boxing, 30-45 minute brisk walks, and pull-up circuits. I hope that I’ll be getting a road bike soon, so that is something I’m also looking forward to. Working through those anxious thoughts and silencing that critical inner voice, especially the one that says we don’t deserve to be healthy, is pivotal. Once we do it once, it gives us the confidence to do it again and again until one day, the volume of that critical inner voice turns from a sounding roar to a faint whisper.

I AVOID OVEREXTENDING MYSELF...SORTA

Whew. This one is definitely the most difficult for me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an infatuation with achieving great things, whatever that means. Typically, it’s associated with people, pouring into them, and fostering and cultivating the skills to live joy-filled and meaningful lives. My time and energy are often inundated with things, stuff and busyness. I have routinely danced with overachievement that morphs into overextension. In 2020, one of the best words I learned to use was “no”. “No, I can’t fit that in my schedule right now.” “I love what you’re doing, but for the sake of my own well-being, I must take a rain check.” “I’d love to speak at that engagement about mental health and wellness, but that day doesn’t work for me.”

In the past everything has looked like a yes, and to be fair, 70%-80% of things still do. This is a daily battle I fight, where I’m bargaining with myself and my anxiety on the “self-worth train”. In the past, my achievements, accolades, and what I accomplish have been the driver of my self-worth. Now, I am embracing the idea that my self-worth is independent of what I do and it has helped me stamp down an exponential amount of anxious thoughts this year. As you embark on your path to less anxiety, remember that you too have the power to separate your self-worth and accomplishments, and when you do, you will be grateful that you did!

I FOCUS ON THE PRESENT MOMENT

More than any year before, 2020 has forced me to sit in the present moment. Anxiety centers on the uncertainty of the future and just being able to say I am going to “be where my feet are” and not somewhere else helps us regain a little control. At times my anxiety is overwhelming, debilitating, and too tough to look at. I know that when I have erratic and disorganized thoughts, the anxiety is about to settle in realLY deep and I need to turn it down. 

One technique that has helped immensely is an exercise I got from a book called High Performance Habits. The exercise is called “release tension, set intention” and it helps you master your daily transitions. One key component of anxiety is feeling worried and fearful about situations, and finding constructive ways to quell that through refocusing on the moment can be helpful. In the exercise, you scan your body for any tension while you focus on your breath and say “release”. Following the release of tension, you set your intention for the next item on your to do list, next meeting, or what’s next on your agenda. As you remain focused on your breath, walk through what energy you want to bring to your next activity and how you can enjoy the process of the present moment. It has worked wonders for me to slow down and recalibrate, so I’d encourage others to take that chance as well.

MY CALL TO YOU

Anxiety can leave us questioning to take any action at all. It holds us hostage and paralyzes us, seeking to destroy our creativity, passion, and joy for life.

I hope those of you who are also struggling with anxiety find more clarity and peace, knowing that anxiety doesn’t own us. You can control it, it just takes intentionality and courage to say “it is only a thought, and I can change a thought”. We can defeat anxiety together, as we collectively embrace the present moment, which is the door to all moments.

Below are a few affirmations to help you heal, hope, and bring peace and joy to your life!

“In order to heal, we must forgive. Sometimes the person we must forgive is ourselves.”

“You are exactly where you are meant to be right now. TRUST THAT.”

“There is power in the present moment.”

“Every thought that we think is creating our future.”

“Nothing can keep me from what is Divine and Destined.”

“Today is a gift and I deserve to enjoy it fully.”

“I trust my intuition.”

“I am open to the omens of the universe.”

“Today, I choose happiness.”