From Guest to Regular: Building a Relationship with Your Favorite Bar

We’ve all seen it in movies: someone walks into a bar, and the bartender greets them by name, pouring their usual with a nod and a smile. It seems effortless, cool — like they belong. But becoming a regular at your favorite bar isn’t just about showing up often. It’s about showing up well — with curiosity, respect, and a genuine appreciation for the place and the people behind it.

Whether you’re new in town or finally ready to claim a stool at your neighborhood spot, here’s how to move from occasional guest to someone the bar staff is always happy to see.

Step One: Be Present, Not Pushy

Regulars aren’t built overnight. The first step is simply consistency — returning often enough that the staff begins to recognize you. But more importantly, it’s about how you show up. Greet your bartender, be patient during busy hours, and tip generously. Treating the space with respect sets the foundation for trust.

Start small. Learn the bartender’s name. Say thanks. If you order something great, let them know. These interactions build over time, creating rapport that’s based on mutual goodwill — not just money spent.

Step Two: Engage Authentically

You don’t have to be the life of the bar to be remembered. Often, it’s the guests who ask thoughtful questions, show curiosity about ingredients, or compliment the playlist who form lasting impressions. Ask your bartender:

“What’s your favorite drink to make tonight?”

or

“Have you added anything new to the menu lately?”

These small conversations show interest without being intrusive. And they’re often the first step toward deeper conversations — or even off-menu recommendations.

Want to better understand what bartenders love to serve (and why)? Explore mycocktailrecipes to dive into the art behind your favorite drinks.

Step Three: Learn the Rhythm of the Room

Every good bar has a rhythm — a flow that regulars know instinctively. It might be quiet early and slammed at 10 p.m., or the opposite. Learn when to talk, and when to let the bartender focus. Be self-aware about when to order, when to linger, and when it’s time to make space for the next guest.

If the bar is full, don’t camp out on one drink for hours. If it’s empty, don’t be afraid to settle in — especially if you’re ordering respectfully. Reading the room is a regular’s secret skill.

Step Four: Respect the Craft and the People

You don’t have to be a mixology expert to be a great guest. But respecting the skill behind the bar goes a long way. Ask about a new syrup or garnish. Appreciate the balance of a well-made drink. Show interest in the bar program, not just what’s in your glass.

And don’t just be nice to the head bartender — be kind to everyone working there. Regulars know it’s the whole team that makes the place special.

Step Five: Give, Don’t Just Take

Want to take the relationship further? Recommend the bar to friends. Leave a good review online. Tag them in a story when you visit. Your support matters, especially to small, independent bars.

If the bar offers events, tastings, or new menus, show up. You’ll deepen your connection to the space, and often, to the people who work there too.

Final Sip: A Relationship Built on Respect

Becoming a regular isn’t about free drinks or VIP status. It’s about belonging — to a space, to a community, to a moment that exists beyond just buying a drink. When you treat your bar like more than a transaction, it often becomes something more for you in return: a place to unwind, connect, and feel at home.

And as you deepen that relationship, your cocktail experience naturally evolves too — from trying the classics to tasting creative new pours before they even hit the menu.

Explore the drinks, ask the questions, respect the space — and you just might find that your bar is more than just a spot to grab a drink. It’s a place where everybody really might know your name.