Zealot of My Own Destruction
at night
at night
black of the night
cradling my self-worth
dismayed at mirror reflection
encroaching thoughts
fading facade, no feelings
grating sound in mind
headache spreads
irritibility, scratching at my skin
jolted by constant shifts in mood
Kitchen knife, shining, drawing me in
Lick the blade, lessen the pain
...
Manipulated by my mind's fragility
noxious notions
of relief from fear and suffering
Plague me...nightly
...
Quiet moments of introspection
Renegade ruinations
Shattering realisations
Truthful admissions
Unruly admonitions
Vitality stung by the need to pause
...
weary
...
Xiphoid to the sternum, for peace?
Yearning for peace
Zealot of my own destruction
*
Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: Another Abecedarian, another downbeat entry.
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About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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Comments (14)
Uh it looks like I’ve read all these from your playlist challenge.. so far the catch up is going.. poorly! 😅 Hang ten!
Woah! This is dark, dark, dark. Almost Hamlety - 'with a bare bodkin who would fardels bear,' etc, etc. Loved the poem and the illustration!
Had to look up xiphoid. What a great word. I feel like this poem would be a xiphoid, if it were a shape.
Ooooh…I like this surreal poem and it’s anguished tone! Well done!! 😊👏👏
My lord! That Q-V verse punches. This whole poem punches. And the juxtaposition in “zealot of my own destruction” is such a powerful closing line. You’ve captured the war of the self perfectly.
Ooof, "Lick the blade, lessen the pain" was hands-down my favourite line. Dang, Paul! This was so poignant, deep, and full of emotion. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this!
Yet again I read ruination as urination, lol! Can't say I've heard of Xiphoid although I'm studied Biology. So I learned something new today! Thank you so much King Paul Shakespeare! 🍩🥐
I like the direction you took this in, you wild Zealot.
Whether zealot or surrender, self-destruction hits close to home. Well done, Paul.
This has such an excellent cadence to it! Definitely performance worthy!
Incredible poem Paul!! Keep up the great work! ❤️
Cheer up, buddy! lol Seriously, good job!
Oh that title!! So well done and sadly resonated. What a great piece! (P.S. I think R is missing though...) fin
Heartbreaking!!!♥️♥️💕