Uncovering Purpose

Feeling trapped, enclosed,

Held so tightly, wrapped in the expectations of everyone else,

Not knowing how,

Not knowing when,

Not knowing who,

Who I am,

or

Who I am meant to be.

Don't eat that, you'll get too fat,

Don't forget to eat, you'll get too skinny.

Diet after diet,

Fighting anorexia then bulimia

Now labeled with a disorder

You're too big, you're too small,

Oh gosh, you're seeing a therapist,

we can't use you at all.

Mom is a Christian

and dad has a higher power

Where does that leave me,

just to believe in it all?

Surrounded constantly with the worlds view

you're so pretty

you should model

You are so smart

you should teach

you are the strongest person I know

you can handle anything

You are so easy to talk to

maybe you should take up being a counselor

since your advice is so swell.

No matter what the world says

My biggest fear has always been to fail.

What if I'm not pretty enough,

or smart enough to excel?

What if I lose or advise the wrong thing to do?

How do I check all the boxes of

who everyone thinks I should be?

Should I teach as I model and give advice to those I see?

Gain weight, lose weight, and ignore the fact I truly need therapy?

Societies views and harsh judgments

Check this box, check that box,

oops opinion poll has changed,

I have to uncheck this box, to fit in that box

approved by societies views,

I wonder if it bothers them that I do not know me?

Always checking this box or that box

just trying to appease.

In the process of trying to fit in,

to meet the requirements for me to be the

me society is okay to see,

I discovered every box I've checked

has closed me in, wound me tight,

held me close, and trapped me to be

a me that has not a clue who I am to be,

to know me.

Boom! Bam! Pow! Kazzam!

In an instant walls fall,

enclosure shattered, every box for society is unchecked,

every trap around unsnapped,

FREEDOM... I can finally get to know me,

the day I heard, "what they think about you is none of your business"

opened my world and shut society out,

I was free to look deep inside of me,

to see my purpose, who I was meant to be.

No longer concerned with my social status quo,

or if others' judgments would bring either cons or pro.

In that simple sentence

a compass I did find.

I've been down all my life,

following paths set from the worlds strife

Time to move up

journey the world,

uncover my purpose,

freeing me.

Compass held tight,

Position set,

Direction North,

Time has come for who I am,

the me I am meant to be,

uncovered, free of the worlds view,

to be seen,

to shine,

To live in a new world of freedom,

the freedom for me to be me.

No more diets,

unless I chose that to be.

Released is all the pressure

of living as the me

that others want me to be.

I have unchecked all those boxes

that held me captive,

trapped ineveryone else'ss version of me.

The door of freedom for I can finally see

the purpose of life is for me to be me

Loving, kind, judgment-free,

Willing and ready to lift others' esteem,

sharing my story of uncovering the freedom of me,

now in focus to purposefully love me

the me I was always meant to be

that they can free themselves

to know their worth,

get on the free team.

Finally, purpose uncovered and I know me,

Have accepted the freedom to LOVE me for me.