The relationship outside of marriage, who is serious, who lost

01.

Marriage is the home of love, but also the grave of love. Not into the marriage, feelings are difficult to stabilize; into the marriage, feelings are easy to flatten.

When love enters marriage, life becomes duller and duller, and many people begin to seek emotional solace outside of marriage.

When a restless heart happens to meet an interesting soul, it is most likely to breed affection. This sentiment is not allowed by the world, but has powerful magic, little by little occupying the whole heart so that people can not extricate themselves.

Just like in Junichi Watanabe's novel "The Lover", the hero was sober at first and only wanted to maintain an ordinary lover's relationship with the heroine, going to her when needed, never spending the night at her place, and rarely talking to her about his work and family. And the heroine is soberer than he is, never asking him about his work, never inquiring about his relationship with his family, and only enjoying the brief moments of quality time with him.

They both think that such a relationship is perfect. There is no bondage of marriage, no trivialities of life, there is freedom, romance, and affection.

But then, the hero got serious, he fell in love with the heroine and began to resent this short-lived lover's relationship with no guarantees, he wanted to marry her and be together openly and honestly.

What he never expected was that when he divorced the marriage full of joy to find her, she decided to propose a breakup.

She did not want to get married to him, not want to carry a heavy psychological burden for the rest of her life and for him to live that bland life together.

That night, she left without a backward glance, leaving him alone in the wind.

End of story.

02.

The story comes from life, and life is often more twisted and complicated than the story. Because, human nature has many weaknesses, such as amorous, greedy, and selfish, and the vast majority of people are not able to overcome human weaknesses, once the conditions allow, will begin to let themselves go.

Qian Zhongshu compared marriage to a walled city, which resonates with many people.

Indeed, marriage is like a walled city. People outside the city yearn for the stability of the city, while people in the city yearn for freedom outside the city. However, in the end, it is better to be outside the city or in the city, there is never a definite conclusion, it is just that individuals are in a different position and see things from a different perspective.

The Chinese are still very traditional at heart and have a strong sense of family, and have zero tolerance for anyone or anything that affects family harmony. Therefore, feelings outside of marriage can never walk in the sunlight, but can only hide in the dark corners.

People often ask: Is there true love outside of marriage?

In my opinion, there are many kinds of love, that can not use as absolutely true or false to partition but should be distinguished from the form of love, the way love, and the degree of love.

Love itself contains a lot, desire, responsibility, giving, and possession.

In marriage, love focuses on being responsible for each other, sharing the pressure of life, and supporting each other into old age.

Outside of marriage, love is more focused on the soul to know each other, emotional satisfaction, after all, do not have to face the life of the rice and oil, will naturally pay more attention to the spiritual world, and this is why many people can not resist the temptation of feelings outside of marriage.

Most people imagine the feelings outside of marriage as dirty and unpleasant or seen as a flood of beasts, but in fact, it is not necessary.

I'm not saying that marital relationships are worth promoting, but we should look at them calmly and rationally. Marriage is a social institution, and if marriage exists, there will be extra-marital relationships.

The fact is that the relationship will never go away, so let's face it and see it for what it is. The only way to avoid the risks and harm it brings is to see it for what it is.

03.

In today's society, many people fall into extra-marital relationships, and the result is just two kinds: one is that it hurts others; the other is that it hurts itself.

The word "harm" is inevitable in extramarital relationships because no one likes to have their things taken away and their interests violated. Likewise, no one is willing to pay for their own unreturned, their feelings are played with.

The heroine in the novel "Lover" was called a thief by the original spouse even though she never wanted to destroy the hero's family. The original spouse was hurt, and so was the heroine.

The male protagonist chose to divorce the female protagonist after he truly fell in love with her, wanting to prove his love for her in this way. However, he gave, did not get the results he wanted, he was frustrated, hurt, and even suspected that she was just playing around from the beginning.

So you see, it's really hard to have a good ending to a relationship outside of marriage. Even if the initial how much love, how absolute infatuation, the final is only mutual resentment, a disastrous end.

The fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not in a position to be able to get a good deal of money. The fact is that the actual person who is more serious about the situation will lose.

Some people say that there is no winning or losing in the relationship, it's all about willingness.

I think there is a win or loss in the relationship.

If a relationship ends, you can never get out, can not start a new relationship, or therefore live unhappy, while the other party has long looked away, and others love each other, the days are prosperous, then you are the loser, the other party is the winner.

The relationship outside of marriage is more involved, it is difficult for someone to get out of the whole body.

We should all live sober, see clearly, avoid getting into extra-marital relationships, and stay away from all harm.

There are gains and losses in life, with whom there will be regrets, since the choice was made, it is responsible for their choice in the end.

May you be rational enough in your feelings, smart enough, and kind enough. Do not hurt others, and will not let yourself get hurt.