The Pedestal

Moon

I once adored you,

I thought your beauty

The grandest

In

The sky

But lately I’ve come to realize

In my heart

I never loved you

I loved the idea of you

You remember how I poured out all

My want and longing?

Never a secret

I was your

Blatant admirer

How I needed

To reach out

And

Touch you

And my doubts were eclipsed by your smile

A coy grin in your crescent phase

Or a broad, full, beaming gaze

When your face was close and bright

What a tease!

For you never wanted me

My feelings were never

Reciprocated

This whole thing I thought we had?

It was only ever in my head

My eyes soaked you in,

My mind basked in your glow

And I felt I seen

But… was I?

Your crescent grin and your full smile

These were not for me.

They were for the world

And in my greed

And in my fantasy

I tried to claim them

But nothing will ever come of us

I finally figured out that we never were

Last night I got my final proof

When I saw you,

You looked so goddamn pretty

And so goddamn out of reach

So

I just

Stood and stared

I took a picture of us

To make the moment eternal

But the moment broke

The lens revealed

What my eyes were too love-sick to see!

Your pretty smile

Is the only face you’ll ever show

Like a mask

Perfect,

Plaster,

And pretend

But seeing you

—Grainy, stark, and pixelated—

The truth is clear:

You are not mine

I was poisoned by your beauty

You were pedestaled and adored

Because

I only ever noticed your glow

And how could I love

What you never showed:

Your dark side

***