Coyote-man

Toby sticks to himself

It's not because he's shy

He is shy

But that’s not

The reason why

Toby sticks to himself?

He's a loner

Because he

Does not

Like

People

People are rude, they're bawdy

They're loud, they're gaudy

He does not like it when people speak to him

He does not like it when people speak at all

He hates human voices

Yuck!

He does not want the pleasantries

Or

The expectations

Of a society

He finds shallow,

And tedious,

And loathsome

So...

What he wants is quiet

Toby sticks to himself

He's drawn to those places

That social people

Seem to know not to go

Long, lonely walks through the untamed wilds

That's what Toby likes best

Hunting solitude

Hunting silence

In the ugly lands

To prowl those places

Even the greenest folks spurn

Where there'll be no chance of...

People

Nobody to wear a happy face for

Nobody to mutter under his breath over

This evening Toby is walking

On the edge of the bog

Where the air stinks of sulfur

And the sand itself becomes quick

He's just walking

And

He's just thinking

How

Earlier

That day

He had

Watched

Some

Woman

Cut him off

She hadn't used her blinker

Proof that she was

No great thinker

She'd almost caused an accident

What a fucking stinker

Of course he gave her one proud finger

But she hadn’t seen it

So he’d honked his horn

And yelled "hey dipshit!"

Then she had seen him in the mirror

And she had slowed down even further

10 under the limit

What a fucking dimwit

He is still in a foul mood

Hunting for outer quiet

To soothe

His inner beast

He listens to the wind in the trees

And he hears some birds

But thankfully

No yucky human voices, out there in the wastes

He revels in his solitude

Until he hears a sound

From the overgrown miles behind him

A howl clear as night

High

Whiny

No wolves in his state

This must be a coyote

But he hears a tone

A gravelly laugh

In that creature's call--

It's less than animal

Worse than a dog

It's...

Human!

YUCK!

Dammit all!

Probably some shit head, who thinks it's funny to

Assault the bog's quiet

By barking at the moon

Toby wouldn't mind crossing paths with an animal,

Out here by the duckweed and the muck

But he does not want to encounter a human

Fucking yuck!

He breaks into a run

The howl sounds again

This time, eager!

He runs harder

Another howl

This time, closer!

And in no time,

Toby is caught like a rabbit

Fighting back

Losing,

Desperately

Against

Some clawed thing

Some

Vaguely canine,

Vaguely human

Beast

Toby faints when he feels the fangs

***

He wakes in a puddle of his own blood

There are chunks missing

But he is alive

He crawls

All morning

All evening

And that night, the moon rises

To shine

On his

Trembling,

Defeated body

The change begins--

Agony

Sinew and flesh fill out the missing pieces,

Of Toby

Fur and claws

Bloom from his hands

Now

So much more like

Paws

Hunger replaces his frailty

He bounds through the wilderness, gripped by appetite

Back to life

Back to society

No longer hunting solitude

Now hunting human food

He sees her before she sees him

Dinner!

But as he draws close

She catches a whiff--

Of bog-sulfur

Of wet fur

She catches a whiff--

Of Toby the Coyote

She wheels

On her heels

And she screams!

"oh my God, it's a rabid dog!"

Her's is a shrill,

Terrible

Human voice

YUCK!!!

Her shriek is brutal

It is torture to his

Big

Huge

Sensitive

Ears

Toby does not like it when people speak to him

Toby does not like it when people speak at all

Toby hates human voices

And hers sends shivers down his spine

He clutches his clawed paws

Over his instant headache and howls a broken, pitiful, mournful cry

He runs from her

Into

The dark

Hunting solitude once again

Now

All

The more desperate

***

But once he is alone

And safe from those wretched searching human voices

Toby is left with the hunger

His stomach yearns

It practically burns

For just a scrap of meat

Just a little morsel of person to eat...

So he goes to the one buffet

That's open year round,

Where he might scrounge

A late-night dinner that will not make a sound

He stalks his way through shadows and the dark

Avoiding all light and avoiding all life

Hunting out the solitude

Where he can scavenge up some food

By digging in the burial grounds

He finds a granite stone

That says RIP

When he tears into the sod

He's happy as can be

He digs and rips through the soil and the mud

And even now he can smell the tantalizing taint

Of congealed human blood

He's drooling now

He's slavering

He's licking his chops

Then he hears a command--

Interrupting his meal

Before he's even started

His heart practically stops:

"Hey, who goes there? Show yourself, man!"

A human voice

YUCK!!

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!!!

All he wanted was some solitude and a bite to eat--

Toby the Coyote rolls his yellow eyes

He rises to his feet

He places his paws on his hips

He scrunches up his face

Then he yowls and he yips:

"This is some goddamned bullshit!

"All I wanted was some peace and quiet

And a bit of a bite to eat!"

Under the glare of the security guard's beam

Toby's teeth, they fairly gleam

The guard stammers something

In his yucky fucking human voice

And Toby realizes

There's one sure way to realize

His dream

He

Decides

He's willing to suffer a few more human sounds

Rattling around inside his head

Cause the other guy

Will be quiet

Sure enough

When he's dead

***

***

***

This was just for fun, a little bit of dark humor ribbing at the expense of my favorite Halloween monster!

I love werewolves, especially werewolf horror, but just really felt in the mood to write something goofy and unserious.

If cheesy dark comedy doesn't cut it for you and you're in the mood for something scary, check out the entries on the unofficial horror challenge I posted recently!

Links to people's entries in the comments of this post:

I haven't read any entries yet, saving them for a treat on Halloween after I take my kids trick or treating and after they're tucked in for the night.

But I recognize some outstanding writers in the entries so I'm looking forward to reading some scares from these folks :)

...

Oh-- and if you want a chance at winning that unofficial challenge there's still a little time left to enter! Write fast though, the unofficial werewolf horror challenge closes at midnight, Halloween, EST.

Full details in the post I linked.