A Vocal Writing of These Last Two Years of My Life (2023-2025)

"Alisha"

~A protector or advocate for people who lack voice or power~

*

Taking a look back, on these writings from the last two years.

My vocal account was started in March 2023.

Sure enough,

It was just after a pivotal moment in my life,

Just after you broke my heart and convinced me that I’d never amount to anything.

I cursed your birthday that year.

And I let this account sit for several months.

And then,

I picked up the pen again.

*

2 years ago…

I made my first post,

“To Someone That I Love.”

It wasn’t for you, even though I bet your egotistical maniac personality probably convinced everyone it was about you.

It wasn’t.

*

I’ve posted 113 writings since that first piece.

I’ve poured my heart out in words that bleed ink rather than scarring my skin and drawing blood.

“Breathing Through Water,”

I was determined to forget you.

I was weak.

I was drowning, dying to learn how to breathe past the pain that you left inside of me.

*

From the “Mirror on the Wall”

You left me Broken on the floor

Smothered in fragments of what I used to be.

I swore that 2024 was going to be my rebirth, but it wasn’t.

2025 slithered and snuck past…

I’m still searching, still finding me again.

2024 did yield healing, but it wasn’t enough.

*

2023 broke the mold

Shattered the porcelain mask that I had worn for so long

Exposing the raw nature that was underneath

The beast that needed to yawn and bare its teeth

I needed to find my strength and fight against the “Narcissistic” ass you proved to be.

I took the knife you used

Writing out the words in my own blood, sweat, and tears.

*

2025 was going to be my new project,

My new goal,

The baby you promised me but never lived up to delivering.

“Breaking Past Demons” is still in the works.

I diluted my dream in 2024, slowed my pace,

As I struggled to complete the work and finish the degree.

*

2026

It’s officially the end of Day 2 out of 2026

New Goals…

Do I have to?

New Affirmations…

Every day.

I’ll pick myself up

The bruises have finally begun to fade.

I’ll pick up the pieces,

And lovingly glue them back together again.

This hell

This world that I’ve lived in for these last two years has been my prison.

Now I’m crying out

I’ve found my voice,

And I’ve found my strength.

*

Destiny,

Can it be,

That I’ve found my place in this desolate desert landscape?

I’m reclaiming my name

~Alisha~

It’s variation is ‘alive’ and means “she who lives.”

Symbolically,

I’ll stand among the ashes littering the ground beneath my feet,

I’ll be resilient

I’ll flourish

As my spirit remembers how to fly.