The Luchador

I thought about you today. Many times actually. I wanted to reach out, to text you. But I didn’t.

I dreamt of you the other night, it was a bit of a strange dream, and you were the only thing in it that felt real. I wanted to reach out, to tell you about it. But I didn’t.

I watched your story, even though I tried not to. I posted one I wanted you to see. But you didn’t.

I saw something about the movie Incrption, it reminded me about another conversation we had, with a different meaning to the idea. I wanted to show you. But I didn’t.

Truth is I have always had a crush on you, since the first time you sat barefoot playing guitar. I always wondered if you even considered me. But I didn’t ask.

At a party, one of the hardest people in my life saw us talking and laughing. He turned to his wife, “now that’s a couple that needs to happen.”

Sometime not too long after, the normal conversation turned into a flirtatious one. It made me wonder if there would be more. But I waited.

It’s when I’m distracted and not concerned that I hear from you again. Every time I turn into a teenager, wanting to tell my bff, “omg he’s talking to me!” I wanted to tell her. But I didn’t.

I realized today that you intimidate me. I can’t quite figure out why. But whenever I’m around you, I feel like that girl again. The one who always had a crush, but never did anything about it. The girl who wants so desperately to impress you, she stumbles over words.

I find myself longing to see you, to hear your voice. I want to be brave enough to call you. But I’m not.

The thing is… there’s clearly chemistry and an attraction between us… but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. As much as the very thought of your kiss stirs me… I don’t want to just be pursued for sex.

It would be simple not to dwell. To just focus on me and wish you well. But my feelings I can’t deny, when you still give me butterflies.

I want to reach out, but I don’t. I want to attract not to chase.

Problem is you’re on my mind, I just wish I’d get some sign I’m on yours. But I won’t.