What do you miss?

I lay there listening to the pitter patter of rain through my open window.

My thoughts drift to your words as I find myself longing to be in your arms.

“I miss you.”

But what is it you miss?

My body? Or the pleasure gained from sharing our bodies?

It’s easy to miss someone physically, especially when that part of the relationship was always amazing.

But what I crave is to be missed for my presence, my mind, my sense of humor and all the silly little things that make me self conscious.

I miss the calm that comes from your fingers lightly rubbing my forearm and my hand.

I miss the inside jokes and hearing you laugh.

I miss the moments that I catch your gaze drop to my lips when I speak.

I miss the hope I once had that you would show up for me.

I miss the excitement when you would call just to say you wanted to hear my voice.

I miss the feeling of being loved, wanted and accepted by you.

The more I work on loving me, and healing from everything else… the more you seem to “miss me.”

I will always be grateful for what I had with you.

I will always be sad that in the end my “I miss you” and yours are just different.

Yet still I remain listening to the rain hoping someone will miss me in the way I miss them.