The Farmer’s Trick

The Farmer’s Trick

Old Joe said, my cow won’t moo

I’ve tried songs and shouting too

Fed her tea and apple pie

Still she stared with one glass eye

So I called in Vet McPhee

He brought tools and charged a fee

Checked her hooves, her tail, her head

Then scratched his chin and calmly said

She’s fine, just bored from chewing cud

Try dancing round her in the mud

So I grabbed my boots and did a jig

Slipped on muck and dropped my wig

The cow let out a mighty snort

And mooed as if she’d won a court

Next day she asked for radio tunes

Cornflake snacks and Friday cartoons

Now all she does is sit and moo

While I serve lunch and clean her loo

The pigs are laughing, hens look scared

My sheep want cushions, all prepared

This farm has gone from field to show

And I’m the clown they’ve come to know