The Damage Done

As I wake just before the dawn,

I feel,

Sorrow, self-doubt, shame, unworthiness,

I reel.

**

I dress for the day, donning my lifelong mask,

I hide,

Plaster a smile upon my face to disguise,

I cried.

**

I keep busy throughout the day to escape,

I’m hurt,

As I hear that internal non-stop whisper,

I’m dirt.

**

I’ve spent decades running,

I evade,

Is there no escaping those internal words?

I prayed.

**

Those words that scream within my mind,

I’m crazy,

Running on repeat,

I’m lazy.

**

I’ve come to the conclusion those words are in my blood,

I tolerate,

Destined to invade my mind until I die,

No escape.

**

Words heard on repeat when very young,

I hear,

Those derogatory comments said over and over again,

I fear.

**

Born into my blood, travelled to my soul,

I’m burned,

Screamed into submission,

I’m concerned.

**

I’ve tried to rise above,

I persist,

In fact they scream the absolute loudest when,

I resist.

**

Those little words so cruelly said,

I feel,

And try as I might, I find I cannot run,

Cannot heal.

Please click the link below my name to read more of my work. I would also like to thank you for taking the time to read this today and for all your support.

If you enjoy this piece, you may enjoy this one too.

Please visit my website if you'd like more information on my book, Battle Angel : The Ultimate She Warrior.

Originally published on Medium