I set out towards the setting sun,
Flex waxen wings and
I (have lost all momentum, tarnished my faith)
have my strategies.
I (am knotted around worries in angry threads and strands of fear)
let things take shape
Select "and knotted". Correct that. Am knotted.
Select "that things". Correct that.
To what? What was the shape to be?
I (am stymied by the stillness in my fingers)
caress the edges, pulling and smoothing
like tumbling rock to bring out its shine.
Select "stymied". Correct that. Am stymied.
I (walk it out, allow it to flow, and to catch, and to build, and become)
feel it here, on the tip of my tongue.
Select "walkabout". Correct that. Walk it out.
And yet, today, I fall silent
Select "eyeful". Correct that. I fall.
About the Creator
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Comments (24)
Congratulations on your win Hannah! I’m just trying to slowly catch up on reading (it’s hard coz you all write so bloody much 😂) but I’m glad I got to this piece—just wonderful and creatively clever 👏 🥳
I like the Icarus references in this, and the brackets are a great way to interrupt yourself. The multiple readings are smart, and this feels like a real-time look into creating the thing. Well done on winning Hannah!
I love the plays on words that really make this increasingly thought provoking. Congrats on Winning the Somewhere Between Here and There Challenge, Hannah!!
Such a unique expression and heightened tangibility ungraspable. Genius! Congratulations on your win!
Oh my. This is wonderful. So glad you won, because then I found your incredible piece. Congratulations.
back to say a well deserved win and a just reward to harken your return.
Congrats Hannah. A teaching moment here.
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
You’re just amazing. So glad to see your name at the top!
Hannah. Fantastic and well done on the win. So happy you got a win in! Congrats! This is so very clever. Funny that I did a poem recently...well not that recently...but recently enough about Icarus. :)
Congrats on your win! 🎉 An interesting interpretation of the prompt. Great job!
This is such a cool, innovative poem! I struggled with this challenge and couldn't manage to finish, so I doubly applaud your amazing effort. Love the "...waxen wings..." Icarus reference. Love the ending - it has that stunning impact all great endings have. I enjoyed the alliteration and assonance throughout. Poetic and not overdone, especially "...flex waxen wings." I really like the double alliteration there. Love "I(am stymied by the stillness in my fingers)". The use of parentheses and the alliteration add to the already powerful nature of this line. So well done and so deserving of the win! Congratulations!
What I love about your piece is the parenthetical asides. I read the poem three times: once without the parentheticals, once with only the parentheticals, and once with everything. And WOW. Tri-fold meaning in one. Very impressive! Congratulations!
Congratulations, Hannah! This one bought back memories of trying to write with Dragon, a long, long time ago. I could feel your frustration. A very worthy win!
I quite like your description here. 'worries in angry thread'. *Proceeds to read more* Wow. I don't even. Oh my. Okay let me find my words. Usually I would take a poem apart and comment on the lines I loved, this time I only made it past one before I was completely swept away. This poem surprised me in a way that is very different. This one demand to be felt not necessarily translated. It begs... Maybe it asked the question. Do you understand what this feels like... Wow! Um. Yeah. Just... Congratulations on your first place win in the challenge, Hannah 🤗 ❤️ 🎉🎉🎉
I felt a little frustration here to communicate with the program used to communicate. However, the poem didn't lose meaning at all. It gives us a great sense of the process.
You have my mind all over the place after reading this.
Loved this poem. I just finished a third round of editing for my novel a few weeks ago and I swear it felt just like this.
I love your unique take on the challenge. It really made me focus on the poem and even read it a couple times just to make sure that I got everything that it was trying to say (which I doubt that I did, will probably have to read it again). Love the use of form.
This reminded me of an excellent Oscar winning short "Stutterer," Hannah (I wrote a review of it awhile ago with the link to the full movie, if you are interested). Excellent poem.
Ach, here you are back again to completely own poetry and writing in general. Loved this. and like John it was an interesting take on the challenge to use your issues with diction because of your greater issues with pain etc. Loved being able to read something new by you, Hannah! Well done.
Oooo, this was very creative. Loved your take on this challenge!
I like it we have to support each other are you agree?
Your use of Icarus as the driving metaphor for this poem was a stroke of genius. I’m glad you gave us a peek behind the scenes at the challenges you face writing with dictation versus keying in the words. You have always shared yourself unreservedly with your readers, Hannah, which I deeply appreciate. I look forward to reading more!