Tides can come and go
For they belong to the moon
But what’s your excuse?
My suspense breaks slow
Waves in a painting of storms.
This time, they will crash.
A/N: I like the idea of a painting breaking slowly, as opposed to, well, never. What does that mean, anyway? It would have to happen all in the viewer's head. I suppose painted waves crashing would too... Aren't haikus cool?
This my link to DK Shepard's original haikpulet, "Followed Footsteps." As per the rules, I wrote a different second haiku than the original and kept the first one. If anyone wants to add another link, I'd be excited to read it!
Go check out Kenny Penn's ongoing challenge! There are still a few days left to add a chain or write your own haikuplet.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
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Very well written. Keep up the good work!
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Comments (15)
Excellent work… well done linking to someone else’s poem!✅
Beautiful imagery 😁
Wow, great job. I found it difficult to link from someone else so I congratulate you!!
I love this set of haikus - so profound. Congratulations on your win!
This is beautiful. congrats.
That 'what's your excuse' was soo powerful. You set it up and linked it in so masterfully. Love it
OMG!!! What an honor! Thank you Mackenzie for using my haikuplet for a chain! Absolutely loved your second stanza!
Wow... I love your continuation of DK's poem. I immediately recognized it and it took me a second to realize you added to it, but man... what you added really did add to the overall impact!
Wow, Mackenzie, this link is gorgeous. I'm always amazed by your ability to paint such lovely imagery in so little words
I like this my friend, very nice, 😊😊
I feel like this could translate into a piece of visual art, a painting designed to break, slowly
Wonderful written
Those last two lines were my favourite! I loveeeeee it!
Wonderful writing, pal. So to clarify...cos the rules are just not sticking in my head lol. Too many other challenge entries, both official and unofficial bumping around...If I wanna link...I'd take your bit and add a bit after it or before it. Love this though, either way. Also...slight nudge - https://shopping-feedback.today/poets/magister-operis-epici-ode-ad-creatores-vocales%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E - you are mentioned in this.
Interesting