She Rises

I am the red phoenix rising

Riding flame into flight

Lighting up the night sky

Crackling firework

Burst of light

The fire carried me

And now I fly through the midnight air

A star shining in an explosion of piercing bright sight

Amazing to see. What a view to see.

The transformation of me

Born anew with love flowing effervescent

My emancipation from my mental cage

Wire-metal-chains put on me that I later refused

To discard them meant something frightening and new

I only knew darkness

Light felt so blinding

Strength felt strange in my muscles, bones and sinews

I died by casting off the chains for a final time, dropping them behind in the swamp of sorrow

I died for creation

Succumbing in the sacrifice of my old skin

Surrendering to the knowledge that birthing carries along with it pain.

I knew it was true

The choice had to be made

Would I fly for the first time and feel the air surge beneath my trembling wings?

Would I surf the current of light

Release the lightning of my soul

Or would I stay underground in the womb of the familiar and dark barren earth

My time there had expired

I had no more growing to do

My wings were stretching out from my shoulders like lengthy roots, clawing out for breath

To break through the hard cracked clay

Strike through with a sword to siege

While another part raged through me

Trying to hold me down

I might call it Ego, but it has no one name

The closest one is Fear

But it breeds on doubt

I feel surrounded by without

What is the unknown

But lack

Of control

What is the paradox

That I am finite and infinitesimal and powerless

And

That I am empowered and infinite and massive

So be it

The sand in the dial slipped through the funnel

Its last grains hitting bottom past the tunnel

The earth angel called to me over and over

Through the crows

The messengers of the mysterious unknown

Cawing their cuckoo clock chimes

With tender care, but I just felt scared

Like I was being shamed for my stagnancy

Urgency

My fallible flaw from fright to freeze

Trapped in my thoughts

My self-kept imprisonment…

Who knew the unseeable things

Could carry so much density

Weight on me

The Illusion of Mind

This is where I seek faith

This is where I fight through my cries

I’m being pushed out

I’m surging out

Into the open sky

But I am no child

And I teach myself to fly

There are no warm hands holding me in a fresh linen blanket

Yet there is the gift of love that carries me with it:

Inside, expands my light outwards like a blooming lotus unfolding

Penetrating and emanating to lift me up

Up into the sky

I soar as high as the eagle

A red Phoenix rising