Really, Pour Me Another

Shot one: confession

I had eyes on you to the point

where I almost walked into a wall

Thou’ I had no idea how I was going to get you

Pen hit my phone like aye, what’s good G

Heard you were having issues talking

to someone you had immense feelings for

So this is what I’mma do for you, right

27-page letter

Tenth book of your bibliography,

send it over once it’s finished

Conquered that fear, spat in its face

I wasn’t raised to practice cowardice

Shot two: insignificance

I found out you had someone

And I found out the hard way,

which was okay

At least I told you what I was going

to tell you in person but

just kept avoiding the situation

You kept up with me for

all those months we haven’t spoken

And I found out he messed you over, you

don’t do that to anyone

Specially if they gave you everything,

more than just their affection

Despite the fact, I felt like I wasn’t deserving of you

I felt like I was unlovable, somedays

I still feel that way

Shot three: avoidance

September 2017 was one of the worst months of my life

My aunt died right in front of me

For a minute, I was messed up mentally

I couldn’t even sleep, let alone eat anything

Decomposed slowly, I thought my life was over

Den’ you stopped talking with me,

at that time

I ain’ understand why

After being around and back

it started to make sense then

Shot four: reconciliation

For most of 2018, we ain’t speak much

Though you were still on my mental, I had

to keep a fair distance

And focus on getting my life back together,

challenging self-limiting beliefs and axing many

detrimental habits of mine

Though that came with many trials and errors

Once December rolled around, we clicked once again

You started liking a few of my photos

over on Instagram after I

finished watching your stories there

Once my twentieth rolled

around, you wished me well

Though the message was short,

the thought was there

And I let go of the little bit

of resentment in my possession

Throughout 2019, we’ve

been talking more often

You sent me affirmations,

I sent you some as well

Shot five: I truly understand how this is played

Had to stop keepin’ up with you

for a little while

It’s almost June and we

haven’t spoken since May 10th

When I sent you my graduation pics,

told me how proud you were of me

If I want you closer, space is a necessity

I won’t give up on u,

just gotta focus on myself and

stop pedestaling

Just gotta better my life, gotta

make sure I’m able to eat at night

You’ll be hearin’ from me either on

or before July 15th,

Promise

Shot six: to be continued