Randomness Extraordinaire

I've been called...

a humor whore

who loves party lore

and the keeper of grudges

I'm bad at keeping score

I'm patient poor

When mad, there's no budging

I'm a timeless romantic

Though sentiment runs short

A panicked, franic, manic

With sarcastic retorts

When faced with a quandary

I pull up my shorts

Handling it promptly

Exposing everyone's warts

Cause no one's unscathed

Once I get on a tangent

You may be freshly bathed

But when I'm on a manhunt

There is nowhere to hide

And even less ground to cover

I will not be denied

And it's all shown in color

So beware eye contact

And hold on to your rudder

Cause when it comes to facts

I will make your world shudder