Predators

Wasted third act, but

incorrectly citing sources

is its greatest sin

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I despise this movie. Not only is there a distinct lack of character motivation, a 3rd act that makes no sense, and an utterly inexcusable misquoting of the source material (three people survive the original Predator movie, it's pretty clear! ((also objectively a great movie and I'll hear nothing to the contrary)), but I've dedicated way too much brain power trying to devise a way this movie would actually work...Spoiler alert, there isn't one.

Oh yeah, the promised challenge. I forget you're not all here to listen to me prattle on...

If there is one thing that's synonymous with Halloween, it's bad movies (ironically, Halloween (1978) not a bad movie)...digressing again, damn it!

*Second ninja edit digression* I would like to go on record and say that yes I understand these are really Senryu's...Haiku makes for better branding...carry on...

Similar to competitions I've run in the past, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write me a bad movie review haiku!

Now because we are using English, a language that most of the time makes no god damn sense, there's two interpretations to this prompt I will allow. You may either submit:

1. a "BAD MOVIE review"
2. or a "bad MOVIE REVIEW" (Examples here for the uninitiated)

Rules:

The Rules are pretty simple, and my lawyer says I have to include them...

• Entries must follow 5-7-5 format
• Unlimited Entries, but a person can only win once
• Entry must be commented on this post
• I encourage, but it is not required, that you link this post in your entry
• We'll run this until midnight CST on 10/15. I'll announce winners on 10/16.
• Them's it for the rules. Selection criteria is my gut and good tastes. You've been warned.

Prizes:

• $3 to the winner
• $1 to the runner up
• $1 to the person who makes me laugh the hardest

Go forth and enjoy bad movies!

If you're looking to really test your skills, Kenny Penn is running a great contest right now:

If you've enjoyed this, please leave a like and an insight below. If you really enjoyed this, tips to fuel my coffee addiction are always appreciated. All formatting is designed for desktops. Want to read more? Below are the best of the very best of my works:

A complete library can be found below: