Palms

. . . i miss the drooping loneliness of the sacred dawn

How simple objects and sounds

Are shaded by softening lilac

And muttered prayers musk the cool air with feverish breath

… in the dewy world of lush greens and waking birds

I find the few moments in life where my loneliness became my .. solace

I could feel myself alone, rendered helplessly still

By cutting breezes and encompassing sounds

of waking life

Giving life,

Dandelions, violets, and green grass sprout out from

Upraised palms in broad zones

Rooted there

The sun’s sparkly streams

Peek through dusty clouds

To greet me and my needy soul

My tired body

My reckless mind

My

Sleepy eyes, damp lashes, lips, feet, and thighs,

Crooked knees, straight shins, and ashed elbows

Hidden organs, pumping heart, disappearing veins,

Healthy bosom,

Empty/full uterus,

blood, and genitals

All rendered still by

Soundless energy

An orchestra of the divine, organic, cosmic

Rendered silent

Waiting patiently for

The Vibrant Conductor to breathe life

Into a composed symphony

To infuse a soul with meaning and purpose

My burning self

My helpless, hapless self

My reckless mind

All rendered still

All except the vibration

off of supplicating palms

Soundless energy

Shaking energy flowing through

Cupped hands

Filled with all of that

Intensity that is known to accompany feelings such as:

longing, pain, greed, arrogance, guilt, shame, envy, and hurt

Deep hurt

How long had it been there?

How long had suffering remained dormant

How long did need burn wordlessly

This heat burns me

Starkingly white and rampant

It hurts

Its

Burning me away, away, away

My fingers

Dripping with it’s violent honey

With its longing

The byproduct of perpetual growth(s)

Syrupy sweet, hot

This aching need

This absolute wretchedness

born not from a lonely existence

But an ignorant one

An evanescent fire

A flickering flame off a melted candle

I gingerly hold everything i felt or did not feel

At the hour of this sacred dawn

This sacred, sacred

And it is then … that I feel the most alone

P.S.

I wish I didn’t fear sleep for i would spend every waking moment here