I think I created a new persona for this one. I'm not sure I like him. P.S. I wasn't drinking. He was.
***
Welcome, dude! Can you hear me?
Does your brain understand?
I hauled ass here to greet you
When I saw your ship land!
____
Whoa, that's crazy! I hear you,
In my language, no less!
But your mouth isn't moving -
Tele... whatzit, I guess?
____
Ok, cool. Yeah, I'm frosty.
Not to worry, man, we're good.
Just jump on the back there,
And I'll show you the 'hood!
____
Yeah, it's safe, bro – or sis?
It's a bike! It's got class!
Like a car but with 2 wheels,
And it's cheaper on gas.
____
Oh, that's somethin' we get
From the oil underground.
See aaaaaall those big thingies
Bobbin' up and back down?
____
Yeah, we burn it, and it runs stuff.
We make stuff with it, too!
See that bottle on the ground there?
And those bags? That old shoe?
____
Yeah, it does make the air stink,
But we'll fix that one day.
And now we're doin' solar,
And li-thi-um, and, hey!
____
We've got new-cooler power!
That's clean energy!
Well, it killed a few fish,
But there's more in the sea!
____
Oh, and over there's Pantex,
Where we make little “boomers”
And some parts for the big ones.
That's where I got these “toomers.”
____
And those big ones are awesome!
We hide 'em all over.
Dude, they nuked that one island
And that war was over!
____
Oh, hey, man, we're gonna'
Be headed your way!
Yeah, we're launchin' stuff out there!
Couple dozen a day!
____
Wait, bud, hey, where you goin'?
We ain't started the tour.
Is that your middle finger?
Yeah, okay, real mature!
____
Oh, sure, you called friends!
Man, that's not even fair!
What are all those ships doin'
To that town over there?
____
Hey, man, we don't stand
For that crap in these parts!
Shit, my clothes are on fire!
Oh, that burns! Damn, that smarts!
***
Just a little something different for the Extraterrestrial Challenge. Lots of fun stuff in this one already. Check it out here:
You know the drill. If you enjoy the read, I enjoy hearts and comments! Thanks for reading!
About the Creator
Dana Crandell
Dad, Stepdad, Grandpa, Husband, lover of Nature and dogs.
Poet, Writer, Editor, Photographer, Artist
My poetry collection: Life, Love & Ludicrosity
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Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Compelling and original writing
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts6 days ago in Longevity
Comments (20)
Bahahaha. My favorite, by far.
😂 this one is perfect! Felt like I was along for the tour, and then wished I wasn’t. Haha! Great take on the challenge, Dana!
This was fun Dana! Not your usual style but I appreciate the new avenue you took here! Great work!
This is so clever. Great job
Lol! This was so fun and clever, Dana! ☺️❤️ I found myself thinking it'd be fun to have all this happen upon meeting an alien, and then I got to the end 😅 Congrats on Top Story! 🤗
That was fun
I enjoyed this so much. Many truisms here. Very well done, Dana! 💕🙂
He reminds me of Steve. Steve was my mediocre, mildly alcoholic, sort of abusive alter ego for The Uprising 😁 Maybe he is a bit of an ass, but I like him. If flaws are what makes a character real, he could practically walk off the page.
Hahahahahahahah this was hilarious! You're freaking funnyyyyyy!
Just a wee bit of tipsy fun. Enjoyed it thoroughly.
Hahahahaha...loved this. You covered so much about humans, the good and the bad, in this wonderful piece. Awesome work :)
In my mind if aliens ever show up this is probably about how it would go. 😂 loved this
Ground control to major Tom, too much too funny buddy, 😂
Haha. I guess you won't be the UN Ambassador to Space! Hilarious! So well done 💙Anneliese
Light, and whimsically written!!! Laughing 😂
😂🤣This crack me up 😂
😂🤩Good one, Dana!!!
😂🤣😅🤣 Just friggin' awesome! LOL!
Ha, 😉Cool piece❤️📝👍
Bloody brilliant-I am laughing so hard! This stanza Oh, hey, man, we're gonna' 'Be headed your way! Yeah, we're launchin' stuff out there! Couple dozen a day!' So funny and so well done -Thank you for your awesomeness! 🤍