I Will Not

I will not miss you when you go.

There's only one person I ever miss

A thread of his soul is still buried in my womb

One day I'll be his child's child's ancestor

and that thread will tug and pull and release

as it calls through us

Long back and long on

Like a tree in a forest in a world of forests

roots tangle and canopies breathe

timed and timeless these stretching aching branches of

who we are, were, would be

create a shelter for small, brief lives

heart-beating and blood-pounding

for more

more

more

The forest cares, but doesn't mind

or minds, but doesn't care

I will not miss you when you go,

come back,

go

The wave against the shore

It's always the same wave

and it's the shore that changes

dragged into the sea

thrown up to the land

shifting, capricious, unpredictable

But the same body of water inhales, exhales

beating a tide

My ancestral thread is frayed and knotted and tangled

dyed blood red with longing and hope

with violence and pain

with regret and shame

Spun strong with the furious speed of a thousand therapists

Strong enough to hold us, him and me

I clench my teeth like a fist and say,

I will not miss you when you go

You were never really here,

just passing through