I'm Sorry

I’m sorry.

You were always there for me.

The 90s forged our friendship.

Our hearts were connected for two decades.

We learned about life together.

We grew up together.

I’m sorry.

We said we'd be friends till the end.

I didn't think the end would come so soon.

Deep down I knew we were turning toxic.

We were like a train wreck,

I could only watch as we crashed and burned.

I’m sorry.

If I hadn't swallowed my tongue

maybe the end wouldn't have come.

I gave you permission to hurt me

over and over.

If I spoke up, I could have saved us.

I’m sorry.

As I grew and flourished,

You regressed and sunk into bitterness.

My success hurt you.

My happiness enraged you.

You envied my love.

I’m sorry.

My heart broke

as I watched your mental illness consume you.

I tried so hard to save you.

You always reminded me

that I was never enough.

I’m sorry.

I built boundaries around my heart

and they crushed yours.

When I stopped letting you hurt me

You stopped loving me.

What else could I have done?

To the one who hated my success

Who controlled me.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I took so long to leave.

Because now I understand

you were never really my friend.