i can't escape t h a t feeling
Second guessing yourself whether you need this person in your life
*PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SOUND WHILE YOU READ MY POEM ;)*
~
I washed my hair tonight. That was when I knew something was wrong, I never wash my hair at night. Only mornings.
My legs were trembling pillars of weary endurance.
I couldn't speak or move. No talking, no words, no murmuring.
Silence.
Finally playing the role I needed in my life.
My head went quiet. My eyes opened a realisation.
Then that weight with unspoken words appears back to pull me down.
I try, so desperately try, to exhale you, to let the air settle without the taste of your name lingering on the tip of my tongue.
I love him.
I still love him...
It is not the absence of his body I struggle with; it is the ghost of him.
That thin thread connecting me to a time when I was somebody else.
I'm second-guessing myself.
Maybe it's because I believe in second chances.
But I refuse to put myself through that again.
Could I ever truly untangle myself from a love that was never fully yours?
Do I simply surrender, lean into the ache, and live as half a person, forever searching for the shape of the whole I've lost...
There is no clarity of this uncertainty.
One moment, I feel the sharp sting of freedom, the intoxicating allure of possibilityโI could be free.
I know the answer will not come in the morning or even an atom of the present moment. It will not come as a whisper or as a shout, but in the quiet tug of what could be and what is.
Some part of me will always be waiting for you to remember what we were, even if that memory no longer exists.
Although how could I possibly move on like this~
I can't, I got a war in my mind.
About the Creator
Kodah
- Storyteller, Love/Romance, Dark, Surrealism, Psychological, Nature, Mythical, Whimsical
~๐ข๐ฝ๐ธ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ช ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐น~
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insight
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH5 days ago in Critique
Comments (11)
Wow, fabulous work! Fave lines are: I try, so desperately try, to exhale you, to let the air settle without the taste of your name lingering on the tip of my tongue. And the ending is so hard to take in!! ๐ค
There were so many beautiful lines in this, I could highlight the whole thing. And the music added to the pain so perfectly. Loved this!
"I try, so desperately try, to exhale you, to let the air settle without the taste of your name lingering on the tip of my tongue." Now this is poetry. Beautiful work, Kodah! ๐น๐น๐น
"Some part of me will always be waiting for you to remember what we were, even if that memory no longer exists." "I love him. I still love him... It is not the absence of his body I struggle with; it is the ghost of him. That thin thread connecting me to a time when I was somebody else." "I try, so desperately try, to exhale you, to let the air settle without the taste of your name lingering on the tip of my tongue." Gosh these lines hit me so hard because of how strongly relatable they were. I always say that you put into words what I'm feeling and you did it again. I've been dreaming about him for the past 3 consecutive days and you wrote this. I freaking loved it so much!
Kodah, this is awesome. Love the description about your legs being trembling pillars of weary endurance. Completely understand the tough decision of whether to give that person another go. Well done. Great stuff.
lovely
I love when you attach music to your writing! This was so heart wrenching to read, the back and forth of what you want and what you deserve pushing and pulling against each other.
I NEEDED IN MY LIFE..I THINK ITS A GOOD WORDS
Ohhh this one hitsโlike a gut punch but poetic. The ghost of him lingering? The war in your mind? Brutal, yet beautiful. Feels like drowning in memories but also kinda fighting to swim. Loved it! ๐๐
Magnificent, heartfelt writing! Go Kodah! ๐ช๐พ๐ฉท
Aw.. the music is so fitting! Made me cry a bit. I hope writind and the symbolically cleansing of the shower were cathartic. ๐งก