Photo Credit: Marco van der Haar, "Summer Evaporates," Flickr
Green leaf on fresh snow
She sleeps with his sweater vest
Night of still, cold air.
Tears are icicles
the summer sun melts. Watch them
drift into the sky.
A/N: This is for Kenny Penn's Haikuplet Chains Challenge. If you'd like to add a link in this chain, please do! See the link above for the rules :D.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
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Comments (16)
Beautifully done… an interesting challenge 🤩
I get the feeling that I'm going to have to come back and ponder this one a bit more <3 The tasting notes are: hints of melancholy, an up front juxtaposition, and an after taste of soul-deep regret? Hmm... interesting... interesting... I love that last line "watch them drift into the sky" as though the pain of what had come before, the man who wore the sweater vest, evaporates under the warmth of a new sun. Simply excellent, even for my peasant's poetic palate XD <3
Notes of contrast all through this, and fresh snow vs summer sun perfectly captures the changing of seasons of a relationship (or even simply, love). The title is so smart Mackenzie. It says it all before the piece has even begun!
Love the cycle of change captured in the last stanza!! Great haikuplet, Mackenzie!
Beautiful! Such an interesting challenge and a great entry! Good luck!
Such a good haikuplet! I really like the "Tears are icicles / the summer sun melts" line!
Beautifully sad and interesting! 2 days left. I think I will put on my extra special thinking cap to see if I can rise to or even equal the level of thought behind this. Pray for me 😅.
So gorgeous💛
Loving the imagery of tears as temporary and transient. Smashing piece.
Well this was heartbreaking!! Beautiful work Mackenzie!!
OMG! You nailed this Haikuplet, Mackenzie! I especially loved “Tears are icicles the summer sun melts.”
So so amazing .i love your content and subscribed. Kindly reciprocate, thank you and keep it up
She sleeps with his sweater vest, I especially loved that!
So poignant
Beautiful, reflective, and emotional in one short piece. I love it!
Liked your poem.