Fingers tap-tap on the table, edge closer, then intertwine, two into one, as his
hazel eyes scan her; a twirl of hair, a bitten lip, a nervous smile, then she
softly says “Come on then, I think I’d like to”, and it echoes in his ear, so he scrapes
the chair and leans in, inhales her vanilla scent mixing with cheap wine, and their
searching lips seek out each other, her cherry lip gloss now partly his.
About the Creator
Joe O’Connor
New Zealander
English teacher
Short stories and poems📚
Please be honest- I would love your constructive feedback, as it's the only way I'll get better. Would rather it was pointed out so I can improve!
Currently writing James The Wonderer
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Comments (11)
great poetry
Oh, I love this one! What a moment :) You really nailed these sensational poems!
Great work, Joe! This is so smooth and you used such strong imagery!! Really well done!
Magnificently written!!! Loved this, Joe!!!❤️❤️💕
First kiss anticipation....best thing ever
Oooo, this was very intimate and beautifully written! Loved your poem!
This is absolutely glowing work, Joe; so clever how the whole thing is essentially one long, flowing statement, but you divide the sensory experiences into different lines; Hannah already said it, but that flow is just SO cool. And the actual content is, of course, so beautifully tactile and picturesque. Truly stunning all around! This one deserves serious accolades :)
Hi - Across the Atlantic sea Cuz - j~o we always seem to hit on similar topics; although I might be a bit more sarcastic than you; ya think. I just finished Writing/Sketching a 'Lippy' Schtick that I won't lift from my draft for a few weeks; but here's a 'Piece of the Piece'. "Eyes shout what the lips are often afraid to speak ~ Silence can tell you secretly everything." *Joe I will delete this in a few minutes so as not to hog your thunder ~ and so you won't 'Lip~Pout' about it...! Always my best, j.k.in.l.a.
Very sensual. Well done.
I love the flow of this so much, the kind of simultaneously continuous and jerky.
Feeling a little warm over here