fight month

often I am red,

alight with anger,

no different than the blood on my hands,

the same shit flowing down the streets,

winding through the grooves,

in hot pursuit of equality last summer.

constantly grey, worse than a rainy day,

holding those dying,

suffering that stinging strangulation,

lost deep in the fog of trauma and depression.

little can compare, even a barrage of tear gas drastically pales.

no safety at home, on the internet, in public,

no respite in our dreams,

no rest until justice can find sleep peacefully.

proud among my brutal queer peers,

fueled by community,

not all combat worthy,

yet united under one extended rainbow,

chasing safety and equality.

someday,

I hope the violence, the hate, the discrimination will be over.

until then, it's an eye for an eye,

your threats handled,

constant attacks no longer obliged,

I'll always be that big bitch downtown, watching your back with a 'Trans Lives Matter' bat.