even through the pain
Unfinished Draft

Verse 1
in our carriage, we rode back home to lilium
with horses trotting and neighing
the world was silent and violent that day
blood spilled, bodies on bodies, splayed
across the town like scarlet ornaments laid
maria, the queen who had left them
lifeless and bleeding across the terrain
stared out at the slaughtered
with nothing to say
Verse 2
kamakuta village, the name of the place
they’d hated us for past grievances, raised
their swords against us, and they had all paid
the price—they were gone, not a single child saved
not a single soldier left from out of the grave
that their home had become the night
maria stood face to face with the people
who wanted to kill us
the moment she’d drawn her sword, it was too late
Verse 3
you did what you had to, even through the pain
the words that i gave her were taken in vain
the look that she gave me, the hatred that reigned
in her eyes then was something i can’t quite explain
i knew what this meant for her future; the fame
she once received for being a powerful warrior queen with a good heart
would now have a taint, and the world would be
rewritten without restraint for the actions
she had taken here on this day
Verse 4
cold and imposing in ways she had never been
upon her throne, her eyes empty and vacant
of any emotion or inkling of pain
the people of lilium crescent could not seem to face
that the leader they loved had returned as a beast
as a monster of sorts, as a demon who claimed
the lives of so many in horrific ways—
yet nothing about her
appeared to be phased
Verse 5
but i saw her cry
in her room in the days that had followed
when no one was near but myself
i had to see how much help
she needed to live, to get through the present
to not take her own life; she acted incessant in her strives to do it
don’t act like a peasant
i told her, my words harsh but needed
you’re queen of the crescent
Verse 8
does it haunt you? i asked
of course, she replied
does it kill you?
it will not
are you sorry?
i cannot be
are you happy? i pressed
i was never fated to be, she said
and i believed her
Verse 9
her fingers on my trembling lips
she smiled and said
you’re mine, just as the world is
and what kind of world is that? i replied
her smile turned icy
her eyes
Verse 26
enemies swarming my people from all angles
i dropped to my knees
and felt tired, so tired my arms ached
with the weight of my own sword
it was then i decided
to put it all to rest
Verse 27
they will kill you if you don’t fight back
a voice in my head on my very last day
as i placed my sword in the dirt and the blade
glinted in the sun like something goddess-made
bright and immense, yet deathly all the same
let them take me to you then, i thought
all of a sudden i felt her, a hand on the plane
of my back, pushing me forward, saying,
do what you have to, even through the pain
-
Someone was hosting an unofficial challenge for a 27 verse structure-based poem—does anyone remember who it was? I thought the challenge was such a fascinating idea, but I couldn’t find the original post or author.
To whomever it was, I’m sorry I never got to enter and your idea was amazing!
Anyway, this has been sitting in my drafts for a long time. No idea where I was going with this, so I never finished it, but I thought I might as well post it instead of delete it.
I also am forcing myself to post this to challenge myself to accept that writing I consider “bad”, due to being unfinished or otherwise, is still my own, and all writing should be shared without shame.
Thanks for reading! ♥️
About the Creator
angela hepworth
Hello! I’m Angela and I enjoy writing fiction, poetry, reviews, and more. I delve into the dark, the sad, the silly, the sexy, and the stupid. Come check me out!
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives





Comments (17)
Sometimes raw is better... it's usually the ones I think that are "bad" that other people like better! Vocal always rewards my worst with top stories 🤯
I'm happy you shared this. It is amazing.
This was a belter. Each verse just got better and better. Phenomenal writing. Well done. (oh and congrats on top story too.)
stunning. remarkable what is finished when we don't think it is.
I am happy you decided to post this, Angela. This is far from bad and well deserving of a top story status. You kept my attention line by line and as far as unfinished goes, I say this is exactly as it's meant to be. Congratulations and keep up the fantastic work! 👏🥰
Your piece, on the other hand, stuck with me longer than others https://slope-run.io
Congratulations on the Top Story!!!! ❤️
Gahhh! Where are the missing verses? It feels completely intentional to deny us some information. 😂
This is brilliant - so descriptive, refined, and haunting in its intensity. Well done. Congratulations on the Top Story, too.
brilliant unfinished draft that needed to be shared, greatly crafted in the story catching the attention in every line!!
I can see the pain, the struggles, and the weight of those choices. You’ve shared something deep, and it really pulls you in.
so glad you didn't destroy these thoughts!!
Yes, fascinating! Nicely done.
Such an amazing story. You are so good at storytelling.
I thought this was amazing! Glad you published it!
I felt like I was reading the poems of old where they told the story of something that truly happened. This was wonderful, although in truth I do not fully understand teh verse jumping form 5-8 then 9 to 26. Regardless, I was facinated
There is a King Arthur-like element to this! Was thinking of Queen Guenivere. A majestic narrative poem!